Symptoms of RAD

I wanted to share the symptoms of Reactive Attachment Disorder on here for those who really may not know. It is not a widely talked about disorder. Many parents feel very rejected by the child or even judged by those around who do not understand. I am just open and honest. If you know me then you know that I have 12 kids who are MINE. Eleven of them came by adoption. Many of those have had some type of attachment or issues stemming from their stay in foster care or birth homes. Three of them have what I would consider full blown RAD. All three are doing much better at the moment. Here is a short list of symptoms that are common with RAD.

• Lack of Conscience
• Food Issues
• Issues with Bodily Functions (vomit, urine,fesces, snot, etc) as a weapon or way to control
• Lack of empathy or compassion
• Abuse, neglect, or lack of bond before age 3
• Lies (even about obvious)
• Wants those around them to feel sorry for them
• May not make eye contact or may be able to look you in the eye and lie
• Seeks affection from friends, extended family, or even strangers BUT not from parents unless for a show in front of others
• Intense battles for control
• Manipulative
• Destroys Property
• Speech and language issues
• Poor peer relationships
• "Charming"
• May injure self or others
• May eat non-edible things
• Learning Lags
• May "mommy shop"
• Doesn't form proper attachments to caregivers
• Incessantly chatters (or may use lack of speech) in order to control the surroundings, draw attention, or annoy
• Steals
• Thinks of themself very highly or may pretend to have lack of "self esteem" to get praise from others
• Hopes that you will think the parents aren't "good" to them
• Won't work for "rewards" and normal parenting techniques never work for long

I know this all may seem like a lot. There is probably a lot more though actually. The good news is that with love, structure, consistency, insistance on getting attention from parents instead of those they desire to get attention from in order to not need it from parents, time, and God's grace they can get better. I've seen other children of ours that were less severe heal before. I've seen a friends' daughter heal. I am now seeing the beginning of the healing with these three. God is so good!