Well, I don't have a REAL million dollars in my pocket or anything. It was just that big of a reward. See I am feeling quite under the weather today. I didn't get to go with some of my kids for their first night back at AWANA as a result. I worked on their verses with them. I made sure they had their stuff together and their "dues". I just didn't get to go so those moments with them.
This was a big night for Zeeky. I took him into the Cubbies room last year for the lesson time. I made sure he sat good and tried to get him to participate. I knew that he wasn't ready to fully do it though. He wasn't talking enough to even attempt saying verses. He wasn't able to stay "on task" like I knew he should. He wasn't able to interact enough either.
This year is another ball game entirely. Zeeky was able to say his verses with me today. He even understood it enough to know what it was meaning too. I'd been having him repeat "God loved us and sent His Son". When Brent got home, I asked Zeeky to come say his verses for Daddy. I was getting ready to say part for him to repeat and he said "God loved us and sent Jesus"!!! Now that means that he knows what we are talking about and that "His Son" and "Jesus" are the same thing!!!!!
I sent him with Brent and some of the other kids hoping that he would really do it for them. Guess what, HE DID GREAT!
One of his teachers let us know that he did well. She also said that he helped a little girl with a puzzle. He said the letters and put them in the correct places. I've seen him do this stuff, but to have him finally able to go and do this on his own is extra awesome. It really was MUCH BETTER than a million dollars.
They said Zeeky was "severely mentally retarded" and "nonverbal autism" when he come home to us at age 3. He didn't talk at all. He made no eye contact. He still had a bottle and all he was fed was poptarts and cereal bars. He was behind in ever single area. I just knew they were wrong though, because I could see the spark behind his eyes.
I would love to find that psychologist who labeled him that way at such a young age. I would love to let him know that at 5 years old (almost 6 which will make me cry) he is doing so very much more than they said he would ever do. He is talking, saying verses, and participating in AWANA without me. He knows his colors, letters, shapes, numbers, and can read quite a few sight words. He has not gone to school since he got here and we only did speech therapy for a short time because he wasn't working for them. He just needed love and someone to believe in him. I believe he is going to keep right on going too! I also believe that I am very blessed to be "Mommy" to my little "Zeeky Monster"! God is so good!
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
The Backsliding of the RADishes
Crystal and Andrew had been doing so well. I mean they were doing REALLY well. I knew it wouldn't last forever. I am not a newbie at this RAD thing, so I knew that it would return sometime soon with another round. It did.
We hadn't been to my grandparents' house for a month. We usually go there much more often than that, but with school starting back here full force and some other stuff going on it just hadn't happened. Brent was working this evening and Tuesday morning are his time to homeschool. I took Destiny to a check up with our medical provider. He got them up and going just as he did last week for homeschool.
The RADishes realized we were going somewhere, so they went into "RAD mode". Andrew tried out not writing his vocabulary definitions. Crystal went back to working on stuff and not telling us she had already done it so that we can get it checked. Andrew wrote so sloppy that you couldn't read it. Crystal did all of her math problems except for 4 and then wouldn't change the answers on those. Andrew finally made it to math and acted like he couldn't do his paper even though he could do it on the white board. Crystal began to shed fake tears over her math, while pretending that she really thought you could subtract and get a bigger number as your answer.
Oh yes, my RADishes were back to their games today. It is ok, because they didn't get the pity that they were hoping for at my grandparents' house. They got to sit on the hill where I could see them out the window. Of course, they didn't get the cookies or ice cream either! They looked all sad while they did it, but the pity never came for them.
I discussed with them how "not mad" I was. I told them that I understand that they just can't handle normal interactions with other adults. I let them know that at ages 9 and 11, I expect them to tell me things with words. This might sound like "Mom, I just can't handle having fun at Mommom and Daddy Bill's house today, so I need to sit outside". Then I could reply with "Thank you for letting me know how you are feeling. I would be glad to let you sit on the porch if you'd like and I will bring your treats to you out there.". I reminded them that talking with words helps them get what they need and prevents them from using their behavior to speak for them. I reminded them that using words to get help doesn't have consequences, but using bad behavior does. I let them know that if they had used their words then they wouldn't have gotten behind on their school work and had more to do tomorrow either.
Big hugs and a bedtime reminder of how much they are loved did follow. I really do love those two little brats, but I wish they would use words instead of behaviors! I hope they are back to behaving tomorrow. I will probably know when I first look at them. You can see their wheels turning for ways to try and get away with RAD behaviors at first glance if you know what you are looking for, but sometimes it is scary to look. lol Praying hard for the RAD to go to the back and love to come to the front!
We hadn't been to my grandparents' house for a month. We usually go there much more often than that, but with school starting back here full force and some other stuff going on it just hadn't happened. Brent was working this evening and Tuesday morning are his time to homeschool. I took Destiny to a check up with our medical provider. He got them up and going just as he did last week for homeschool.
The RADishes realized we were going somewhere, so they went into "RAD mode". Andrew tried out not writing his vocabulary definitions. Crystal went back to working on stuff and not telling us she had already done it so that we can get it checked. Andrew wrote so sloppy that you couldn't read it. Crystal did all of her math problems except for 4 and then wouldn't change the answers on those. Andrew finally made it to math and acted like he couldn't do his paper even though he could do it on the white board. Crystal began to shed fake tears over her math, while pretending that she really thought you could subtract and get a bigger number as your answer.
Oh yes, my RADishes were back to their games today. It is ok, because they didn't get the pity that they were hoping for at my grandparents' house. They got to sit on the hill where I could see them out the window. Of course, they didn't get the cookies or ice cream either! They looked all sad while they did it, but the pity never came for them.
I discussed with them how "not mad" I was. I told them that I understand that they just can't handle normal interactions with other adults. I let them know that at ages 9 and 11, I expect them to tell me things with words. This might sound like "Mom, I just can't handle having fun at Mommom and Daddy Bill's house today, so I need to sit outside". Then I could reply with "Thank you for letting me know how you are feeling. I would be glad to let you sit on the porch if you'd like and I will bring your treats to you out there.". I reminded them that talking with words helps them get what they need and prevents them from using their behavior to speak for them. I reminded them that using words to get help doesn't have consequences, but using bad behavior does. I let them know that if they had used their words then they wouldn't have gotten behind on their school work and had more to do tomorrow either.
Big hugs and a bedtime reminder of how much they are loved did follow. I really do love those two little brats, but I wish they would use words instead of behaviors! I hope they are back to behaving tomorrow. I will probably know when I first look at them. You can see their wheels turning for ways to try and get away with RAD behaviors at first glance if you know what you are looking for, but sometimes it is scary to look. lol Praying hard for the RAD to go to the back and love to come to the front!
Parenting Philosphy #1
I've decided to share some of the things that make our house unique and run well. These will not be in any certain order, but whichever order I can think of them. I also want to make sure that everyone knows that God is the main thing that makes this whole situation work. There are however a few things that I've found help as well though. :)
First of all, I do not require sharing or referee toys. I know this sounds very odd, but I can't stand to hear "But I had it first" in the world's whiniest voice declared to me many times a day. I have no real way of knowing who had a toy first. Every mom knows that once one child declares it then the other has to beat them with an even whinier voice. I would be unable to live outside of the mental institution if I had to try and really decide who to believe. I would undoubtedly sometimes choose wrongly! I would then empower a child to believe that lying was working out for them and therefore use that behavior over and over in hopes of it working out again.
Here is how it works here. Toys that belong to someone are always at the discretion of the person to whom they belong. If it belongs to someone and they want it then it goes to them without question. I really think I teach a good lesson with this though. If you want someone to share with you, then you should share with them, because everyone has a choice. If you want to use someone's things then treat them kindly and their things with care, because they don't have to let you use them. I have to say that my children are very kind to each other as a result. I will not be the "Keeper of the Key to Using All Items in This House". Play nice (literally or figuratively) or others may not let you play at all.
There is also a specific way that I handle disagreements over toys that don't have a specific owner. If toys belong to the group and are things that therefore have to be "shared", then you better not fight over them. If a toy is causing my children to have a disagreement and has become more important to them than their sibling, then it must leave the situation. The toy will end up on top of a refrigerator or in my closet, before it causing my children to fight (or me to listen to it).
I must say that these things have worked well for me over the years. I never hear those dreaded words any more (well unless a new child joins our family and doesn't 'get it' yet). I think they have learned how to get along, share, treat others as you want to be treated, and just as important not drive me crazy! lol
First of all, I do not require sharing or referee toys. I know this sounds very odd, but I can't stand to hear "But I had it first" in the world's whiniest voice declared to me many times a day. I have no real way of knowing who had a toy first. Every mom knows that once one child declares it then the other has to beat them with an even whinier voice. I would be unable to live outside of the mental institution if I had to try and really decide who to believe. I would undoubtedly sometimes choose wrongly! I would then empower a child to believe that lying was working out for them and therefore use that behavior over and over in hopes of it working out again.
Here is how it works here. Toys that belong to someone are always at the discretion of the person to whom they belong. If it belongs to someone and they want it then it goes to them without question. I really think I teach a good lesson with this though. If you want someone to share with you, then you should share with them, because everyone has a choice. If you want to use someone's things then treat them kindly and their things with care, because they don't have to let you use them. I have to say that my children are very kind to each other as a result. I will not be the "Keeper of the Key to Using All Items in This House". Play nice (literally or figuratively) or others may not let you play at all.
There is also a specific way that I handle disagreements over toys that don't have a specific owner. If toys belong to the group and are things that therefore have to be "shared", then you better not fight over them. If a toy is causing my children to have a disagreement and has become more important to them than their sibling, then it must leave the situation. The toy will end up on top of a refrigerator or in my closet, before it causing my children to fight (or me to listen to it).
I must say that these things have worked well for me over the years. I never hear those dreaded words any more (well unless a new child joins our family and doesn't 'get it' yet). I think they have learned how to get along, share, treat others as you want to be treated, and just as important not drive me crazy! lol
Monday, September 6, 2010
Really Old Post that Got Me Thinking
I wrote this on a journal of mine on Cafemom about a year and a half ago. It got me thinking about how healthy everyone has been here lately and how blessed I am. It also got me to thinking about all the sleep I get now in comparison and how glad I am that Julianne no longer has a feeding tube, Andrew hasn't eaten wood in a long time, and Dayton's asthma hasn't flared in such a long time. I am not going to complain at all about the allergies that are a little flared or my sinuses that are starting to act up. WE ARE TRULY BLESSED! We have made it through so many sicknesses including 10 of the people hearing having "Swine flu"last year. God is so good.
You may get a kick out of my rantings during the sickness they all had a year and a half ago though. lol
Click the title to read the old post since it won't let me just copy and paste it here.
You may get a kick out of my rantings during the sickness they all had a year and a half ago though. lol
Click the title to read the old post since it won't let me just copy and paste it here.
Sunday, September 5, 2010
Julianne was so Independent Today
Julianne was really full of herself today. I thought she might have a 'slow' day since she is having lots of allergy stuff right now, but I was very wrong. She was full force ahead, snot and all!
I think my favorite of her things to try today was getting her own drink. She is just about 34 and 3/4 inches tall (or not tall lol). Usually when she wants a drink she comes to get one of us by the hand and takes us to the refrigerator. NOT TODAY! I walked in to find her at the refrigerator door with TWO cups. She had taken Zeeky's cup from the table and put it up into the spot where the water comes out of the door. Evidently she quickly realized that it wouldn't push against the button at the back to make it work, because she went and got Jacob's cup to use too. She was pushing Jacob's cup against Zeeky's cup that she had put up in there to try and make it hit the button for the water to come out.
I don't think she had gotten as far as to figure out how on earth she was going to get the cup out of the compartment once the water sprayed into the cup. Luckily, I caught her because I can see her figuring it out and making quite the mess in the process. lol She really does crack me up and she is so crafty and figuring out how she is going to do things herself.
I went over and got her a clean cup and took the other two cups out of the compartment in the door. I got a tiny foot stomped at me for that! :) I then got her a cup of water and gave it to her. She was very glad to do it herself, but a tiny tantrum occurred when she spilled the water down her shirt. She'll get it soon though! I know she will because she is very DETERMINED or some might even deem her "stubborn". lol
She is such a tiny 4 year old, but she is definitely a 4 year old. She may not talk much, but she is definitely a very independent and bossy 4 year old!
I think my favorite of her things to try today was getting her own drink. She is just about 34 and 3/4 inches tall (or not tall lol). Usually when she wants a drink she comes to get one of us by the hand and takes us to the refrigerator. NOT TODAY! I walked in to find her at the refrigerator door with TWO cups. She had taken Zeeky's cup from the table and put it up into the spot where the water comes out of the door. Evidently she quickly realized that it wouldn't push against the button at the back to make it work, because she went and got Jacob's cup to use too. She was pushing Jacob's cup against Zeeky's cup that she had put up in there to try and make it hit the button for the water to come out.
I don't think she had gotten as far as to figure out how on earth she was going to get the cup out of the compartment once the water sprayed into the cup. Luckily, I caught her because I can see her figuring it out and making quite the mess in the process. lol She really does crack me up and she is so crafty and figuring out how she is going to do things herself.
I went over and got her a clean cup and took the other two cups out of the compartment in the door. I got a tiny foot stomped at me for that! :) I then got her a cup of water and gave it to her. She was very glad to do it herself, but a tiny tantrum occurred when she spilled the water down her shirt. She'll get it soon though! I know she will because she is very DETERMINED or some might even deem her "stubborn". lol
She is such a tiny 4 year old, but she is definitely a 4 year old. She may not talk much, but she is definitely a very independent and bossy 4 year old!
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