Praying for a Miracle

We are matched with "C" from Julianne's old foster home. I am so excited, but it just feels like there is something more. I realized that "P" (a little girl) who we also met when we were there and was previously matched to an adoptive family, is now back on the photolisting. "P" and "C" have lived together for a very long time at this point. They have been together for more than 2 years. I let our worker know that I want to adopt "P" as well. So now comes the trying to figure out if that is even possible.

I sent in an online inquiry through the website yesterday and received a reply from the listing letting me know that the inquiry had been forwarded to her worker. I made sure to tell in the inquiry that we are matched with "C" and would love to adopt them both together. I held my breath all night long. Today I got an email from the adoption worker asking about how old our kids are and saying that "P"'s cardiologist had suggested a family with no more than 3 to 4 kids because of "P" having a less effective immune system. I emailed back and answered the question about how old our large crew are right now. The I imagined in my mind what 4,6,7,7,9,9,9,11,11,15,17, &18 look like to someone who doesn't know us. I made sure to add in the email that we homeschool all, but one and she will join us before long (Destiny is starting to ask, so it really may not be long at all. lol). I made sure to point out that we don't have a lot of contagious stuff that gets passed around here. I have been known to keep them all in and even miss church (which we all love and hate to miss) because things are going around badly. I even pointed out that we have hand sanitizer all over the house and use it regularly (it is true, but I can't believe I added that). I asked that they take into account that our household doesn't have the exposure to germs that kids going to daycare and school all the time have. I let them know that since beginning to homeschool, my bio child hasn't even needed breathing treatments for his asthma.

I got a response back. The worker said to have our worker send the homestudy and it would be considered. I immediately emailed back thanking the worker (who know thinks I'm a nut) and making sure to add in a little more about the bond that "C" and "P" have. I stated the truth in that my children are not biologically related to each other, but love is what builds families. I stated that "C" and "P" have been together a long time and love each other. I said that I knew that the rest of my children would love an opportunity to love "P" as well.

I then emailed my worker. I was praying that she was actually in the office with a fax machine. She was! She sent that homestudy straight to the worker!

Now I will hold my breath and beg God to let me have "P" as well. I can't imagine leaving that foster home the same way as I did last time. I left loving the one in my arms and begging God to ease the pain of "C" who I knew was going to grieve for Julianne. I knew that she needed to be in our family and that adoption was God's plan for her. I still couldn't help the tears coming on behalf of "C" who I knew needed a forever family as well. I knew that they weren't planning to begin looking for "C" a forever family for 4 more years at that point. I felt like my hands were so tied. God has done miracles and now "C" is coming home soon. He will be here with us and adored, as every child should be. At the same time, I can't bear to leave "P" behind and know she will grieve. I can't bear to wonder how long she will wait or if a forever family will ever be found for her.

So, if you read this, I am asking that you pray. Pray on behalf of "P" and "C". Pray that they can stay bonded and with each other. Pray on behalf of me. My heart hurts as I wait to hear the final verdict. I know that it is God's hands. I know His hands are the perfect ones for it to be in. I know I'm being a little "RAD like" in worrying when I know I should trust. I also know that time ticks for children every day and every day that they aren't with a forever family is a day that they are missing it and taking a chance on attachment issues. I know that God made me with this desire in my heart for His little ones. I pray that He shows me His plan for "P" and gives me peace. Please pray. God likes to hear from His children. He can do anything, but He says He likes us to ask Him. Ask God to give me "P". Ask God to bring "P" and "C" home to me very soon.

Thank you!

Before Last Thanksgiving

I wrote this journal on another site before Thanksgiving last year. I know this Thanksgiving will be very different in that I won't have all of my children home with me. Our little guy will still be in his foster home. I am also praying about another child. She is a little girl who is also in that same foster home and who we have also met. I started trying to get info on her today. I have no idea yet if it is something that God has in His plan for sure. I just know that she is waiting. I know that I have to try to bring her home when I bring him home. I have held her. I thought she was to be adopted by another family, but they backed out and she is now relisted on the photolisting. I am going to do all I can and leave all the rest to God, knowing that He is in complete control.

So this Thanksgiving, I will be thankful for the twelve children I have. I at the same time will ache for my little boy who I can't hold yet. I will ache for the little girl that I am asking God to give me also. I will also ache for all the waiting children, who have no family to pray for them and beg God to bring them home soon.

Last year's journal entry was so different, but even then I knew that I had others out there. Here is a link:

A Bathroom for a Bedroom

Andrew was doing so good. Then he decided to choose RAD as his best friend again. His attachments are enough "there" now that he can choose better. It is really just a matter of effort at this point. I mean, it is really a choice when you need to go pee whether to go to the bathroom or to make a hole in your wall and pee in it. I would think it would be an easy choice for most. For Andrew though, it is a toss up!

He had been doing to well. He couldn't stand it with all the fun he was having. How can anyone stand to have priveleges??? The audacity of FUN!

So making a hole in the walls and using it for a toilet he did!

I am not mad really at all. I had hoped he was past that point. I think he did it while we thought he was 'being good'. I think he gets joy from thinking that he snuck something and managed to get by with some plan.

I haven't said anything about it. I don't plan to say anything about it. Brent went in and got it clean. He then put a large piece of plywood over that area to stop it from recurring. I plan to have the rest of the walls covered in plywood as well. I will then paint the walls "pee yellow". I am going to draw "poopy characters" on the walls and give them eyes. I am going to have someone draw a toilet that says "don't forget to flush". I am going to draw circles in case he needs to practice his aim. I am not going to say anything.

If he really thinks that I care if he pees on his walls in his room, then he is wrong. I care that he is making those choices for himself. I need him to realize that I am not affected negatively. I want him to see that my world is still ok. I think I may get some brown playdough and make him some "poopy character" action figures. All the other kids get to have their rooms decorated in whatever they are interested in. We let them play with things that interest them. I will do the same for him.

If you think I am joking when he read this then please continue to think so. If you think I am serious, then you must be raising a child like this or have learned to understand RAD. I personally just know that he always goes back to the bodily functions. In his foster home years ago, he peed from the top bunk into Forrest's ear on the bottom bunk first thing in the morning. This child just won't lose the obsession with trying to affect others with his bodily functions. I am going to let him think that I've joined his obsession and see how fun it is then! hahaha I've had to parent other children before by making them think that I would join their behaviors or find them funny when they were trying to be a pain. This is a step further, but I will go there for him. I mean really "pictures of poop on the walls" or "real poop in the walls" - not a hard choice.

*A special thanks goes out to a great friend who is always there by phone in the "crappy" times, but who can think outside the box with me. LOVE YOU!*

My Christmas Tree is Up!

Yes, you did read that right. Those who know me at all know that I am a "Christmas Crazy". We always decorate as soon as we are done celebrating Dayton's birthday. We celebrated yesterday. The decorations came out of the attic last night.

Julianne giggled and cackled at the "singing and dancing characters", which are one of our favorites. Zeeky is completely freaked out today. If you remember my post about the "lion at the table" then you will remember that for some reason Zeeky is now terrified of the things that sing. He is fine if he pushes the button, but he doesn't want anyone else to push it. Imagine his surprise when he woke up to probably about 80 of those type of characters! I'm sure he will get over it soon. He loved them last year! Julianne has made all of us turn the characters on all day. She LOVES them!

The tree in the family room is up. I love to see the glow of the lights. I thought we had a dreaded "light problem", but there was just a plug in not connected. Tomorrow we will get more decorations in place and hopefully the other trees up (It is amazing how fast some of the kids get their school work done so that they can help!). Wednesday is AWANA so we won't get much done that day besides our regular homeschool work. Thursday we will make our "Thankful Chain" and put it on the tree. Friday we will decorate the tree with ornaments while we smell the cookies baking in the oven. We will then have cookies and cocoa at the table (which will hopefully have Christmas table cloths if I can find a couple old ones or find some place that has them out yet). We will then curl up to watch a Christmas movie!

I LOVE CHRISTMAS TIME! HAPPY BIRTHDAY JESUS!

* For anyone who makes fun of me (yes, Tracie you are included in this roflol), just remember that my mess of decorating will be long gone by the time the rest of the world is swallowed by their decoration mess. I will then be huddled up with my kiddos enjoying the Christmas season and my decorations! lol Sometimes CRAZY works!