We are matched with "C" from Julianne's old foster home. I am so excited, but it just feels like there is something more. I realized that "P" (a little girl) who we also met when we were there and was previously matched to an adoptive family, is now back on the photolisting. "P" and "C" have lived together for a very long time at this point. They have been together for more than 2 years. I let our worker know that I want to adopt "P" as well. So now comes the trying to figure out if that is even possible.
I sent in an online inquiry through the website yesterday and received a reply from the listing letting me know that the inquiry had been forwarded to her worker. I made sure to tell in the inquiry that we are matched with "C" and would love to adopt them both together. I held my breath all night long. Today I got an email from the adoption worker asking about how old our kids are and saying that "P"'s cardiologist had suggested a family with no more than 3 to 4 kids because of "P" having a less effective immune system. I emailed back and answered the question about how old our large crew are right now. The I imagined in my mind what 4,6,7,7,9,9,9,11,11,15,17, &18 look like to someone who doesn't know us. I made sure to add in the email that we homeschool all, but one and she will join us before long (Destiny is starting to ask, so it really may not be long at all. lol). I made sure to point out that we don't have a lot of contagious stuff that gets passed around here. I have been known to keep them all in and even miss church (which we all love and hate to miss) because things are going around badly. I even pointed out that we have hand sanitizer all over the house and use it regularly (it is true, but I can't believe I added that). I asked that they take into account that our household doesn't have the exposure to germs that kids going to daycare and school all the time have. I let them know that since beginning to homeschool, my bio child hasn't even needed breathing treatments for his asthma.
I got a response back. The worker said to have our worker send the homestudy and it would be considered. I immediately emailed back thanking the worker (who know thinks I'm a nut) and making sure to add in a little more about the bond that "C" and "P" have. I stated the truth in that my children are not biologically related to each other, but love is what builds families. I stated that "C" and "P" have been together a long time and love each other. I said that I knew that the rest of my children would love an opportunity to love "P" as well.
I then emailed my worker. I was praying that she was actually in the office with a fax machine. She was! She sent that homestudy straight to the worker!
Now I will hold my breath and beg God to let me have "P" as well. I can't imagine leaving that foster home the same way as I did last time. I left loving the one in my arms and begging God to ease the pain of "C" who I knew was going to grieve for Julianne. I knew that she needed to be in our family and that adoption was God's plan for her. I still couldn't help the tears coming on behalf of "C" who I knew needed a forever family as well. I knew that they weren't planning to begin looking for "C" a forever family for 4 more years at that point. I felt like my hands were so tied. God has done miracles and now "C" is coming home soon. He will be here with us and adored, as every child should be. At the same time, I can't bear to leave "P" behind and know she will grieve. I can't bear to wonder how long she will wait or if a forever family will ever be found for her.
So, if you read this, I am asking that you pray. Pray on behalf of "P" and "C". Pray that they can stay bonded and with each other. Pray on behalf of me. My heart hurts as I wait to hear the final verdict. I know that it is God's hands. I know His hands are the perfect ones for it to be in. I know I'm being a little "RAD like" in worrying when I know I should trust. I also know that time ticks for children every day and every day that they aren't with a forever family is a day that they are missing it and taking a chance on attachment issues. I know that God made me with this desire in my heart for His little ones. I pray that He shows me His plan for "P" and gives me peace. Please pray. God likes to hear from His children. He can do anything, but He says He likes us to ask Him. Ask God to give me "P". Ask God to bring "P" and "C" home to me very soon.