I emailed "C"s foster mother today. I have hesitated to start emailing her even though I had her email address from Julianne's adoption. I don't want to bug her and I have no way of knowing how long this may drag out. I just couldn't wait any longer though.
Weekends are horrible when you are waiting. You know on weekends that no one is working on any aspect of the adoption. No paperwork is being filed. No paperwork is being sent to ICPC. Nothing at all is happening. I really could go nuts on a weekend! I really don't know how to explain the drudgery of weekends to people who aren't in the adoption world. I feel the need to try though.
Imagine that you are very pregnant. You know the gender of your soon to arrive little one. You know the name of the little one. You are miserable pregnant. You are to that point in pregnancy in which every breath is becoming difficult. You are hot. You can't reach your feet to put on your shoes. You can't sleep well at night. Then imagine that a doctor somewhere decided that weekends no longer counted toward your number of days and weeks in the babies development. Imagine how it would feel when Friday at 4 pm came and you knew that none of the time between then and Monday morning at maybe 9 or so would count. The pregnancy was going to last longer than its expected time - heck, there was no expected end to the pregnancy! You knew that weekends were good time with your other children and you loved that, but at the same time it meant that your misery was prolonged every time you had one.
Ok, now I know that may not sound realistic. For adoptive parents who are waiting for their child to be in their arms that is exactly what it feels like. I have done pregnancy and I know the misery of that last little while. I have also done adoption waiting. The difference with the misery of waiting is that with adoption you have no long how long you are waiting. Weekends or holidays are days that nothing is getting accomplished!
I did get some good news today though. "C"s foster mom gave me great news about his sleep apnea and how he no longer is using a machine for that. He is walking and talking. He has a cute way of saying his own name, that I can't wait to hear for myself. He was into mischief and getting into her plants today. (Shame on him. lol I can't wait till he's into mischief here!) He knows his capital letters. He's doing great! I will admit that it is a little easier knowing that he is safe and loved where he is. It is still so difficult to know that I am missing more and more time with him though. It just about makes me mad that some of the days don't even count toward getting him home because of crazy weekends.
I also can't help but wonder if "P"s social worker has looked at our homestudy. I have to teeter a fine line between making sure that they at least give us a thought and not being too irritating. I mentioned to the foster mother that we would be interested in adopting "P" in my second email, but I haven't heard back yet. I'm hoping that it would give her a sense of relief to know they would all be together if that worked out as well. I wonder if I'll hear anything this week.
If you don't hear from me, I may have to check myself into a looney bin. lol Waiting is the thing you do most in adoptions and the thing that is hardest for me. You hurry to complete one section so that you can get to the next section of the process only to wait there and hurry to the next one to wait some more. I know I shouldn't get my hopes up for "P" too, but I can't help myself in wanting to keep those two little cuties together. What a joy they would all be as they got into mischief together!