Some Little Peeks

I thought you all might like some little peeks into the life of a family with 18 kids.  lol  Things are going WONDERFULLY!!  I can't imagine how 5 kids could settle in and adjust so well, but they have.  I have some views into why that is that I might share later, but the main thing is that God is just AMAZING!

We all went to church for the first time on Sunday.  We only went to the preaching service.  We figured we'd start slow and didn't want them to go to class on the first time there.  The kids all did wonderful.  I few very small sounds from them was all that could be heard, except for Keith.  He was ready to get down and crawl, so I took him and sat with him in the nursery after a little while.  

 We walk to church, so it only took a double stroller and two wagons, 

plus lots of people on foot!

We got to a little church that is the equivalent of a couple blocks away.

We filled up 2 1/2 pews!

We were so incredibly proud of them!!!  Who would have thought they'd do that well????  Ahnja was very glad to have a new Bible, though I don't think she has any idea what it is yet.  Anita was very glad they play music and sing, because she loves to dance.  Julianne acted like a big girl and she and Anita were dancing side by side.  (So cute in their matching dresses!)  Nicholas found the whole thing very intriguing I think.  Aleshia was very glad to try to waller her Daddy to pieces.  The other kids were very glad to be back with our church family and show off their new siblings.

Now one more peek and I have to go to bed!  Here is a little of what it looked like tonight, right before we had Family Bible Time!

They got very quiet once we got started though.  

Afterward we sing three songs:  

Zaccheus Was a Wee Little Man

If Your Happy and You Know It

and

Jesus Loves Me

The little ones sit through a story and prayer, so that they can make it to the songs!  

More to come!

We had pictures done today, so I'll post those once I get them back!

Stay Tuned!

Julianne and the Crib Update

Well many of you probably read THIS post, where Julianne was climbing into the crib that was ready for Aleshia (coming home so soon now!).  I thought I'd give you an update.

For a couple weeks after that, we were taking the crib out of her room when we put her into her room at night.  During the day if she started to get into the crib we told her that it was for her sister Aleshia.

When we talk about the 5 kids who are coming home soon, she smiles now.  I think she understands that the crib is for someone else now.

See what you think?

She is so sweet! 

I can't help that she is impossible to resist!  

Don't worry, she didn't stay there long.  

I took her to bed with me!

By the way, if you aren't following our adoption blog

look for the link on the side.

Gotcha Days are coming up!

Birthdaying Unroe Style

Jacob turned 9 years old today.  I'd love to show you what the day looked like and a picture of the birthday boy, but I didn't take any today.  Jacob will not look at the camera and it seemed a shame to waste time that we could be enjoying with him while trying to get him to do something that he is NOT going to do.  So I thought I'd paint you a "word picture" of Jacob's special day.

Jacob has RAD, selective mutism, and maybe a touch of Autism.  This was his 4th birthday home and the 1st time that he made it obvious that he definitely knew it was HIS special day and was excited about it!  When the first person told him Happy Birthday before church today, he took off dancing around the room.  He even tried to sneak and look in my Walmart bags when I came home from the store the other day and he heard the kids ask where to hide his presents!  (Come on special needs Mamas - you know that is big stuff!)  He also stood up for the Birthday Song at church this morning, but looked down like he was shy - yet had a very ornery smile on his face!

After church I headed to pick up the cupcakes and got some other stuff at the store, while everyone here had lunch.  When I got home, they were all very ready to get moving toward the wonderful day that was ready for them outside!  We got them ready quickly and out they went.  They played for quite a while.  I went out and got Cody to climb the dome climber all the way to the top.  That meant that suddenly Jacob and Zeeky wanted to as well!  :)  ( I love good peer pressure!)

Late this afternoon we went out to the picnic tables in the front yard and had Jacob's cupcakes and some milk. He was very excited about it and was very excited to open up the gift bag (yes, we've learned that especially with special needs kids that takes the stress out of it!) to see what he got for his birthday.  He was thrilled with the toys that you step on or it the little "thing" (very technical tonight aren't I?) and the Cars characters project from it.  I made sure to get 3 of them so that other kids would do it with him and it would be more enjoyable.

Then 7 of the kids and Brent played a game of wiffle ball out front.  I was putting on dinner, so I put Cody and Julianne in the plastic gate thing.  They'd only been in it 5 or so times ever, so they were excited about that even.  There were tons of giggles coming from that enclosure!  After I got dinner on, I went out to check on their game and bounce those big soft balls off of Julianne and Cody which was just a thrill full of continual laughter!  (Have I ever mentioned how much I love my life!?!)

I planned dinner to hit right after it got dark, since they weren't hungry from all the cake until late!  We took candles (real and batter powered both) out and ate on the picnic tables.  We had pork chops, asparagus, and stuffing.  The kids thought that was the best way to have dinner out in the dark!  Then, Dayton started sneaking up on people on scaring them while they were at the table.  Unique was laughing so loud that I had to make them quit.  The "non-homeschooled" neighbor children would have to have a hard time getting to sleep with all that loud squealing and laughter!

Then we started bringing some of the kids in for baths and showers, while the rest stayed outside in the dark with the glow sticks!  Yes, that is a favorite summer activity and they've been begging to since the first warm day.  Julianne, Cody, and Zeeky were done by that point and asking to come in, so they got to be first up for showers and baths.  The children managed to keep their squealing down to a minimum and played like crazy outside.  I was very glad that the gate was locked and I knew they couldn't get out.  I could however see glow sticks flickering all around the "ark" play structure.  :)

There is so much fun to be had in a large family.  Homeschooling gives us a flexible schedule that allows so much family time and we can adjust our schedule to what works best from day to day.  We don't take "snow days", but we can take a "Sun"day instead.  We can play out late, sleep in later, and still get a good days school in.  We get to spend time together and my kids are the best of friends.  The kids have a full "party" of kids here and can put together a game of about any size any day that they wish.  We don't need a bunch of activities, because their are enough of us to be active without the planned times.  :)  God has truly blessed us and right now all I could wish for us for our next 5 to be home with us too.

Now the children are all soundly asleep and the business day is beginning in Bulgaria, so I am going to head to bed myself and pray myself to sleep begging God to take care of my 5 Bulgarian Blessings as well as move our adoption through quickly so we can get them home.

The next birthday here is only 2 weeks away.  Destiny is exactly 2 weeks younger than Jacob and will turn 9 on Sunday two weeks from now.  I guess we really better get some rest!

Easter is a wonderful time here and we are ready to celebrate. Christmas and Easter are holidays that we wait for all year round. They are wonderful times for us to teach our children so much. We of course have family time that is important and we are so sad that our 5 Bulgarian Blessings are not here to celebrate with us.




More important than "how" we celebrate is WHY we celebrate. We are really celebrating the ransom that was paid for OUR ADOPTION. The cost to bring us into God's family was so HUGE that it could only be paid by God sending His Son to DIE. Oh my what a price!! I can't imagine. He DIED so that I could be adopted!!!! Does our world get that??? Do our churches get that???? Do Christians get that???? Do you get that??? Do I get that????



I often hear about the high cost of adoption. People talk about it as if it is some reason thing. They act as if it is surprising. Adopting one child from Bulgaria costs about $21,000. That is a lot of money to us and most people. Adding children to the adoption is not nearly as costly, but there is cost. People often bring up the cost. It is criticized by opponents of adoption. Most adoptive parents think that it shouldn't be so costly. Most of us would do it over and over if we could. Yet there is that BIG amount of money that you have to come up with. We also often hear it referred to as the "ransom". Its like your child is being held hostage and you have to come up with that ransom to bring them home. It is a "ransom" because it is paid for their freedom.



Ransom - isn't that would Jesus paid for us!!! He found us to be "worth it" and each and every waiting child is too. He died for each one of them, just as He did for us. Each of them was made in His image, just as we were. He paid that price for us, because of OUR SINS. The waiting children didn't DO anything to end up orphans and in need. They were just born.



So for all those who think adoption is just "too costlly", so was mine! If you are saved by the blood of Jesus, then your adoption was costly too. None of us are asked to give up any of our children currently home and in our care in order to adopt another. We don't have to throw them out, let alone have them DIE! So many people wonder about taking material things away from their current kids in order to care for another child or save for their adoption. HELLO!!! Heaven to Christians here!! God had His Son die, so I think our kids can do without iphones and big vacations!!!



Jesus died! He didn't stay dead, PRAISE GOD! He overcame death and rose from the dead! We serve a living Savior. That doesn't change the fact though that He suffered a horrible death and even worse the separation from His Father as OUR sins were put upon Him. All of that so that we could be adopted into the Family of God!



Celebrate Him! Not with eggs, chocolate, and family alone though!! He doesn't want your chocolate (though my kids love it)! He wants your LIFE! If He died for us, then we should be pleased to live for Him. We should want to be His Hands and His Feet!! We should want to ADOPT, because we as adopted children should know the Hope and Love and Need.



This Easter don't forget what it really all means! It is about adoption. It is about love. It is about sacrafice. It is about Jesus! Now what are you going to do about it?

Go visit Reece's Rainbow and see all the waiting children!

They all are hoping that you really "get" Easter this year!



The Hidden Treasures Auction ends tonight. There are some great items up for bid. I'd love for you to go bid and it is a step in the direction of caring for orphans. I'd much rather you adopt though. Children are waiting and they are God's children.

The Reality of Paper Pregnancy-Not How it Looks

Ok, I thought I would write this on April 1st, but I just couldn't manage it.  I was just too emotional to even talk about being emotional. 

Here are some things everyone should know about those of us waiting.  I actually had another adoptive mom ask how I was holding up.  She said that on Facebook I look really positive and she knew that I had to be a wreck so to speak. 

The truth is that often times people ask how things are going.  I say "Fine, just please pray for the paperwork to move and for the kids and that Keith will be fed and cared for". 

I walk into church smiling.

I go through Walmart being pleasant.

When someone asks at the wrong moment, I turn it into a lighter thing and say that I'm going to get a room at the mental hospital if the paperwork doesn't move.

The truth about how I'm doing is "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!". 

I can't say and look how I really feel.  I have 13 kids here that are counting on me to be what keeps their worlds steady.  They deserve to have a mom who is keeping it together, even if inside she is screaming.  They deserve a mom who can have fun with them and enjoy their childhood with them, because they are here and they are worth the extra effort. 

On the days that are hardest I get them busy with something (movies are great for that since we don't watch much tv) and tell Denzell that I'm going to sneak and take a nap.  I lay in my bed and cry and beg God to pull the devil off of us and move that paperwork.  I beg Him to make someone pick Keith up and give him a bottle.  I beg that Keith's diaper will be changed.  I beg Him to make them come home quickly.  I beg that they are all kept safe and given dreams of a family who adores them while they sleep, so that they will hold onto hope.  Then I fall asleep for 20 minutes or so and wake up knowing that my Father is big enough to take care of it.  I also have peace knowing that God knows how much I love them and understands my despair. 

No one really wants to hear how I really feel.  What would people do if they said "How are you doing?" and I said "Oh about like you'd be doing if your children were being held hostage in some other country where you couldn't take care of them and your baby was starved to the point that he was only 12 pounds at 5 years old"?????  I can bet that they'd never ask again!  They also wouldn't understand though.  See most people don't fall completely head over hills in love with children that they've never held or touched.  They have no idea what it is like to love a child that they haven't given birth to and they don't imagine that it could be the same deep love.  IT IS!!!  It is the love that you have for any of your kids.  It is the love that means you would let someone chop off your leg if it would get them home and make them safe and healthy.  It is just the same as if they took your baby you'd never held from the hospital and put them in the horrible place where Keith is. 

IT HURTS EVERY SINGLE MINUTE OF EVERY SINGLE DAY!!! 

I don't go 5 minutes without the tears welling up and the choking feeling in my throat.

It takes a concious effort to appear "ok" and look "happy" for my kids.

Today a good friend asked how things were and I told her that the devil has attacked us in 150 ways since Brent got back.  She hugged me and I couldn't keep from crying.  There were no kids and I knew she was a "safe" person to be real with.  Boy did I feel better later!  Being "real" for a few minutes made it a little longer this evening before the desire to fall in a pile and cry for my babies came and I choked it back. 

That's what everyone needs to know.  I'm sure you all know other adoptive moms.  This is our reality.  Pray for us and more importantly PRAY FOR OUR KIDS!  Pray for our processes.  Pray for each person who touches the paperwork.  Pray for those who are the "caregivers" for our kids.  PRAY! 

Thanks for reading!  Just trying to be "real".  Maybe other moms can share my "real" and let others know how their lives are going right now.  God is good and He holds us together, but it is HARD.

Please go check out the HIDDEN TREASURES AUCTION that is being done for Keith right now.  There are over 100 items up to bid on!

Large Family Play and Things that were Never Suppose to Happen

Yes, one of my great joys is to listen to my kids play.  I love to listen to them all running about and making up this huge scenes from their imaginations.  The laughing and the giggling mesmorize me!  I catch myself just sitting so still and listening.  I don't want them to know that I am listening to every little word.  Yet as their mother it thrills my soul. 

Today's "players" in the big production running through my house were Julianne, Cody, Zeeky, Destiny, Jacob, Dayton, Andrew, and Crystal.  There was so much going on that my mind couldn't keep up!  Eight children, all playing happily without even ONE argument!  You must know that it thrills a mother's heart to have so many playing at the same time and not one argument. 

Zeeky, Destiny, and Jacob all have Autism diagnoses, along with other "labels".  They are all children who we were told when they came would never pretend play.  That makes me laugh!  All three were supposed to have "mental retardation".  That just plain out makes me mad!  Destiny is one of the brightest people in the world!  Zeeky and Jacob learn differently, but they surely do learn!  I love it when my kids break all the "rules" that were set for them and exceed all expectations!

Andrew and Crystal both have Reactive Attachment Disorder.  They sometimes have some very rough spells.  They've both been home for years.  They've both had good spells and then gone backward.  Its the nature of RAD.  Yet for several weeks Andrew has done the best that he ever has!!!  Crystal just finished a very rough spell and is back to the sweet daughter that I get to enjoy.  Both gave genuine hugs today.  Both laughed and played and ran about as if there wasn't even RAD there.  They'll be more rough times for sure, but today they were pretend playing and goofing off with their siblings.  :)

Then there is Julianne.  She of course didn't say a whole lot during the course of playing.  She ran right with the bunch of them though!  They included her and Dayton protectively made sure that she didn't get run over.  They gave her a part and made believe she filled the role even when maybe she was just a little too ornery to do it. 

Let's not forget Dayton in it all of course.  He is so serious in so many ways, but he was so thrilled that he could keep the younger 4 playing along.  He went ahead and acted silly and pulled the little ones into the game.  He came every few minutes to report some great accomplishment of the younger kids.  He was so thrilled that they were playing along and that Jacob and Zeeky were following directions.  He doted on Julianne and Cody and made them feel important and he had a lot of fun in the process.  If Dayton didn't love his siblings so incredibly much, then he wouldn't have played because he is so "grown up".  Yet Dayton had a blast too!  He had a blast because of being with the brothers and sisters that he loves so much!

Then there is Cody!  Cody is the most recent addition and the youngest (by a little less than 4 months!).  Cody has CP.  I can remember talking to him on Skype before he moved in.  He was asking if someone would help him run the bases when he got home, because he "couldn't run".  lol  He sure can run now!!!  He was all over the place and didn't fall one time - well except for when he was spinning in circles!!  He kept right up with all the other kids and never missed a beat!

Now, do you see why my life is so wonderful!!  I got to listen to all of that while reorganizing my school closet!  All of those things that never were suppose to happen!  Not one fight or argument!  Just lots of giggling and running about, interrupted occassionally by a very proud older brother reporting to me the things that were thrilling him too.  He had no idea that I was fillled with the same thrill while I listened to him playing with them. 

Wow, how I can't wait to hear my next 5 blessings running about and doing things that they aren't expected to do!!  God is amazing!!!!  Being the mom of a large crew in which so many are considered "special needs" means that every single day I get to watch God's miracles unfold right here in my home!

Special Needs - My View

I had someone make a comment to me in real life about favoriticism and my talking about Julianne's "extra".  I thought I'd hit that here along with explain why I talk about her more than the other kids on the blog a much of the time. 

First of all, many of our children have special needs.  We have 5 on the autism spectrum, 5 with attachment issues, many with issues from their time with birthparents and in foster care, some with special learning situations, and then there are FAS, CP, drugs in utero, selective mutism, brain differences, cognitive delays, developmental delays, etc.  Special needs are just not a big issue here.  I don't know of any adults that don't have differences and I hope that all my kids are different from one another.  We talk about special needs here as a matter of fact, not an excuse or as a bad thing. 

My children who have Autism, know they have autism.  I was teasing Destiny one day and said "You have issues!" when she was giggling and running about being silly.  She stopped and said "Nope, I have Autism!" with a smile and a wink.  We don't view Autism or any other things considered "special needs" to be a negative.  My kids with Autism know that they have some challenges they have to work to get past, but also that they have EXCELLENT memories!  We teach them to use their excellent memories to help them in areas that may be harder for them. 

We always teach our kids that God uses all of these things that people make into labels as ways to make each of them special.  Julianne having something "extra" is just a part of that.  That is the way He made her special (and the 5 more on the way!)!  We talk about it in the same way that we do any other "labels".  We also talk about those "special needs" in the same ways that we do hair color, skin color, eye color, or any other thing that makes us each different and into the unique people God made us.

Where Down Syndrome is different, is that our world devalues people based on that "extra" chromosome!  90% of the babies who should be born with Down Syndrome are aborted in the US.  In Eastern Europe the children are abandoned at the hospital, put into orphanages, and transferred to institutions at the young age of 4! 

See why parents of children with Down Syndrome shout a little louder????  No one is creating tests to try and eliminate all people with CP, all people with Autism, or all people with selective mutism.  No just Down Syndrome!  The world is misinformed.  They don't understand the wonderful, glorious, and amazing people that they are trying to sentence to death.  We have to shout, scream, and yell about their worth because the world needs to know! 

I don't love Julianne MORE than my other children.  I just know what a gift it is that she made it into the world.  She wasn't born of my body.  She could have been aborted, but she was the 1 in 10 that wasn't!  She could have never been here to grace our home with such love and joy.  She could have been killed like the other 9 out of 10. 

Parents who have seen that joy and that gracious gift want to share it.  We are the ones jumping up and down.  We are the ones going to adopt more children with Down Syndrome.  Do you think we adopt them because our children are the "burden" that society tries to convince the world that children with Down Syndrome are?????  NO, WE ARE ADOPTING MORE BECAUSE THEY ARE THE GIFT THAT GOD MADE AND PUT HERE FOR US TO APPRECIATE!!!! 

So when you see me jumping up and down, yelling at the top of my lungs, and posting pictures of my beautiful girl know that is is because she is the opposite of what the world tries to make everyone believe.  Every child in this house would tell you that Julianne is who makes them all better.  I've had kids with behavioral issues who might not have even cared about themselves, but would have done anything for her.  It is a gift that God gave her.  She can make everyone love her with a love that would make them do anything in the world for her.  She makes the other children want to be good, just so they are free to do her bidding instead of grounded.  lol 

Down Syndrome is a gift.  God gave Julianne, Keith, Aleshia, Anita, Nicholas, and Ahnja all a little something "extra" in every cell of their bodies.  For that our entire family is thankful and we will continue to shout as long as there are people who need to hear it! 

One of the Things that Makes Me Happy

I guess this will tell alot about me in a strange kind of way.  One of the things that makes me VERY happy is organizing.  Yes, today I splurged and bought some organizers for less than $6 a piece at Walmart.  They are the things that hold shoes on the back of closet doors.  I have added them to every space that you can possibly imagine.  I'm in the process of moving some rooms around to make the kids better situated for our new arrivals. I am pulling down all the shoes and deciding who needs what.  There are very few sizes of even shoes that won't be down and I need to be VERY organized for things to go as smoothly as possible with our new arrivals on the way. 

I have almost the entire house completely organized!!!!  The only thing left is to paint one of our unused bedrooms that I am moving some of the boys into.  Then I can move those boys, rotate a couple other kids into that room, and put together the last crib.  :)  I can find every pair of shoes in the house and all the clothes that should fit Ahnja, Anita, and Aleshia are in the appropriate closets.  Even my room (always the LAST on the list) is even clean and organized.  Keith's tiny clothes are hung in the closet and the bibs are being added to the drawers.  Nicholas and Cody wear the same size shoes and clothes (which works perfectly since we have other boys who have two and have double clothes in that size!) and those have been divided between the two boys closets. 

My kids all jumped in and helped move things around and organize.  I heard Denzell saying in the laundry room that he was really glad he had learned how to organize from his mom.  He must have learned well too, because he did a great job reorganizing in there!  Forrest and Jose along with some of the other kids took everything off of the shelves that were in the spare room and then put them back on in their new location.

Dayton used the shoe organizer to get all of his small items up, so that the little ones coming will have less to get into and did all on his own.  Keith is going to be his little buddy and share his room.  We moved Cody into a different room that he will share with two of the other boys and Nicholas since they are the same size in what was our old master bedroom before we added on.  I think they will be great friends and I need to keep Keith in a room where there is no chance of him getting hurt while he gets stronger.  Cody is a rough and tumble little guy and I know he wouldn't hurt him on purpose, but Keith is likely going to have very fragile bones for a while due to the severe malnutrition he has suffered.  Dayton's room is situated right off the school room, which will also allow him to have a quiet place when needed while still being where I can see him during the school day while he adjusts to life outside of isolation. 

Yes, that is what makes the Mama of 18 children happy.  :)  I don't know if its the fact that it is organized, the fact it feels like I accomplished something of use to the kids coming, or the fact that so many of my kids jumped in and showed some WONDERFUL organizing skills that made me the happiest about it, but I sure do love that "organized" feeling and the feeling of knowing that my kids have the life skills that will make their lives easier as adults.  :)

The Rough Part of Large Family Life

I always try to be completely honest about our family life.  In doing so I will now share the rough part.  Here it comes . . . . Are you ready????? . . . . . . The dreaded part of our life . . . . . . 

LAUNDRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Laundry must be in the process at all times.  It takes about 5 loads every day to keep it done and during times of sickness, heavy outside play, or extra stuff going on will require more.  Nothing is as bad as the SEASONAL CHANGE OVER though. 

Because of our family size, closet management, and keeping children from pulling out winter clothes to wear in the middle of summer - we put all off season clothing in the attic.  They are loaded into the big plastic tubs and put up until the next season.  When that season arrives, then we must pull them all down, wash them on a light cycle, and sort them to whoever will be wearing them that season.  We have piles of the outgoing season ready to go into those tubs and put them right back up as we pull them done. 

We have been working on this for the last 2 weeks now!  I've done about 50 plus tubs up to this point and I have another 8 to 10 tubs that will come down probably tomorrow.  :( 

Every seasonal change over, I begin to wonder about joining a nudist colony.  Anything seems better than this!  Then I look in the mirror and quickly realize that I wouldn't even be able to survive the first day.  Then I go back to doing the laundry!

This seasonal change I am very thankful for one thing.  I don't have any sizes that need to go back to the attic this year!!  I have children in absolutely every size known to mankind.  I am keeping down clothes for our 5 Bulgarian Blessings that are on the way, since they should arrive home before the next seasonal change!  Every outfit that I've loved over the years will be worn again this season!  If you by chance haven't met our newest blessings, then be sure and hop over to our ADOPTION BLOG and click on the names Keith, Aleshia, Anita, Nicholas, and Ahnja.  There are videos and pictures of Brent's visits with them on there!  There are also several opportunities for you to help us out and have opportunities at some great gifts through 2 giveaways that are going on right now.  There is an upcoming online auction to benefit our family starting soon.  We would be glad to send you a "Thank You" picture as well.  All of those things are list in THIS post.

Right now, I'm going to do more laundry!  I will thank God for it this year, because He gave me all these wonderful blessings to do the laundry for and they are all jumping in and helping which makes it much easier!

The Large Family Prejudice

Today I've chatted with another mom about large families and I've had lots of people make comments about our large family this week.  I have a few thoughts to share. 

Our church is celebrating 175 years this year and we had a 3 day celebration this week with services.  It is always funny when people who don't know us first get a glimpse.  We fill up 2 rows of pews.  (We will soon take over a 3rd row, with 5 more kids to arrive soon!)  We are just about every color of the beautiful rainbow of skin colors that God chose to make.  People always look more than twice.  I get that we aren't the "typical" family!  I'm cool with that.  "Normal" is just too boring in my book anyway.  God didn't make His people to blend in and go unseen and unnoticed. 

I do love the comments we get AFTER a service.  I love the comments about "wow, they are so well behaved" or "I never heard a peep".  That means that we are accomplishing our purpose.  :)  I want my kids to behave in public especially.  We occassionally have moments, but it is VERY rare that I have to take a child out of a service.  No one has to get up to go to the bathroom.  None of the kids talk to each other in church.  We take pride in them knowing that home is the place for that!  I've never heard anything bad about our family from anyone who met us and then watched us in action (besides one relative who can't get her kids to behave and finds mine behaving to be threatening and wishes we wouldn't come).

There are still those who don't like big families though.  I hear them through the internet, in circles of acquaintances, through other adoptive parents comments they receive, and in a myriad of other ways.  There are the social workers who think that families are "too big".  There are actually social workers who would rather children languish in orphanages or move foster home to foster home without hope, than place them in a big, loving, well functioning family!!  Those people make me furious!! 

There are some things about big families that aren't "just like everyone else".  Let me tell you a few that I think people over look.  My kids are good in public, because they've learned PATIENCE.  When you are one of 13 kids, you learn to WAIT.  Children in big families also learn to think of others.  They love each other and they learn that their actions can help or hurt each other, as well as the mood of the whole family.  They  learn about relationships.  They learn that they way they act determines how other people treat them and how many playmates they have.  WOW THERE ARE A LOT OF ADULTS WHO'VE NEVER LEARNED THAT!!!  My kids have learned how to deal with people who are different than them.  They can deal with special needs in all aspects and treat people with respect.  There's another big one that most people never seem to learn.  My kids can just be honest about who they are.  They can tell you "I have autism" or "Julianne has an extra chromosome" or "I have Reactive Attachment Disorder", because around here its OK TO BE WHO YOU ARE.  They are going to be loved by the other 14 (soon to be 19) people in this house regardless of what anyone else thinks.  Its nothing to be ashamed of and no need to hide it.  We are transparent.  We are who we are and I want my kids to know that it is ok to be different, but never an excuse for not doing their very best. 

See, big families offer a kind of love, acceptance, and support that is hard to come by in the world.  I also think its pretty ridiculous that anyone thinks it is better for a child to have NO FAMILY than a huge one full of love.  I'll accept people telling me how many kids is "enough" or "too many", just as soon as their aren't any with no family at all!  I'll quit adopting whenever God doesn't tell me that I have more kids out there that He has deemed are mine to love.  I'll admit that we should quit, just as soon as someone can tell me that one of my kids would have been better off without being with us.  I don't think that is going to happen any time soon though!  I don't have one child in this home full of love that any of us would want to live without, even on their worst days! 

So to all the "No Large Family" people, go fly a kite!  This family has more love than someone with that mentality can even dream of!!  No one has ever had too many people to love them and instead we've found that the more people and the more love - the happier the home!!

I think they are a pretty great looking crew and I'm always glad to be seen with ALL  of them!

News

We got our written referral!  That is an awesome praise!!!  :)  You'll want to check in on our adoption blog regularly as Brent will be leaving in less than 2 weeks for Bulgaria!  I won't be repetitive and post all the same stuff here.  The link is on the side bar!  I'll post pictures from his trip as I get them and what he learns about my babies.  :) 

Read Something that Reminded Me to RANT

I was reading one of my favorite blogs to read tonight.  She mentioned that she had been asked about using Respite care for her children with special needs.  I've been asked that many times.  It has been "suggested" that I should.  It was suggested that I set respite up on a regular schedule when our first daughter moved in with us in 2001.  I said "no" then and have continued to do so. 

That is where the RANT comes in!

THESE ARE MY KIDS!  It doesn't matter the route they came they are mine!  Does the rest of the world send their kids to "respite"?????  I surely hope not! 

Most families (the nonadoptive or nonspecial needs families) get asked about "date nights" or how often they get a babysitter.  No, not adoptive and special needs families, we get asked about RESPITE!

Here is how the dictionary (dictionary.reference.com) defines the word "respite":
1. a delay or cessation for a time, especially of anything distressing or trying; an interval of relief: to toil without respite.



2. temporary suspension of the execution of a person condemned to death; reprieve.
 
That really is telling of what people in the world feel about "special needs"!  GRRRR!!!!  It makes me mad every time I hear it.  Just reading the word today made me furious! 
 
I do not consider my special needs kids especially distressing or trying.  Having them not with me isn't "relief", but is especially distressing and trying!  I can't stand to be away from my kids.  Do these people have any idea how hard I worked to get my children HOME!!??!!  Why on earth would I want to send them away????  I think that many people actually consider it a death sentence and think we need reprive!  (Any other special needs parents out there get that feeling?) 
 
My kids have been moved and been without me.  I would never do that to them.  I would never make them feel that I needed them "gone"!  I never would want them to believe for even a second that life without them is bearable - BECAUSE IT ISN'T!  I would give anything to have my other five children HOME!  You'd need a knife to pry my kids lose from my arms - the ones here or across the ocean! 
 
If someone wants to be caring (instead of offensive), then they could say to a parent of special needs kids something like "You know your kids are so much fun and I bet you've not had a night away in years, so why don't you let me (or me and 5 others roflol) come and watch the kids for an evening and you all take a night to go to a movie or out to eat".  See that is "caring".  Now, that being said most of the time I wouldn't even want to leave my kids for an evening with people who really love and enjoy them.  I would probabl much rather that someone just says "Hey, I would love to come over for an evening and spend time with you all", because frankly it isn't like we are going to many people's houses.  lol  Company here is good and the kids are in their environment.  I have nothing to worry about and can just "hang out".  You'd be surprised how quiet and calm it is.  It is relaxed and fun.  People who tried that might even realize that we don't need "respite".
 
Mentioning "respite" to me is offensive and on the wrong day could get you a tongue lashing that I just can't control, because I have paper pregnancy hormones and have been paper pregnant for long enough to give birth to an elephant! 
 
To be safe, just don't ever try to do anything that takes a child away from me without testing my mood.  Sometimes the wounds of how long it took to get them here, the raw ache of my arms to hold my five blessings not yet home, and the love for my kids makes it hard to even send my kids to Sunday School.  I can't imagine how it must feel for a child who has been through so much more than I have to be sent away.  Attachment issues would take a major hit too.  Just realize that if I didn't want 18 kids, then I wouldn't be having 18 kids.  I didn't "accidentally" adopt.  roflol 
 

Story of Cody's First Night Home

Cody came in as if he'd been here before.  He had such a great transition time that he was very ready.

 I met Brent down at the end of our private drive.  I got Cody out of his carseat and sent Brent and the worker ahead to the house.  I helped Cody untie the "Welcome Home" balloons from the stake at the end of the drive.  I tied them to his wrist so that they couldn't float away.  Honestly, this was my plan to get a few moments alone with him before all his brothers and sisters got a hold of him.  :)  I got some good hugs in and then carried him up the drive.  I think I did pretty good at choking back the tears!  I had waited so long to get to hold him again!

Once at the house, he was VERY EXCITED to see everyone.  My mother was here as well and he had seen her on skype so he knew that was "Grandma".  :)  The kids were so excited to finally have him here.  I had gotten them all these cute little balloon pets at the store.  They were filled with helium just enough that they bounced behind the kids as they held the leashes.  Cody got to go pick his and then everyone else went to get theirs.  Cody picked a frog.  The kids had a blast with those. 

Cody soon enough made his way to his room.  His foster parents had sent his stuff ahead.  The last of the boxes arrived just a couple hours before him, so we had quickly got it all put away.  He looked through everything and saw both the old and the new things.   He went to Dayton and asked him to show him how to play a DSi, so Dayton gladly did. 

I had Mexican food prepared along with "Welcome Home Cody Unroe" cake and homemade ice cream.  Cody was much too excited to eat very well, but did eat some.  He ate more after the worker left. 

Once the worker was gone, I got the two little ones into their "Monkey" pajamas that I had bought a few months before for their first night back together.  Cody came into Julianne's room and climbed up on the bed.  She pulled his feet over and put on the bottoms of her feet.  It was so sweet that I proceeded to do more of my crying!  lol  Then they both began to laugh and roll on the bed. 

I hadn't been sure if Julianne would remember him.  She talks some, but not a lot, so there was no way to know what she was thinking before that moment.  Julianne in general takes a good long while to warm up to people.  To see them both happy and TOGETHER was a dream come true to my heart.  God truly blessed us by preserving their bond even after more than 2 years apart!  I've been having a "Praise Fest"!

I know this picture is blurry, but they were laughing and rolling around too much.  I think you get the picture!

Sorry I haven't posted, but . . . .

CODY IS HOME! 

I really do apologize for not updating.  Things have been so busy!  He's been home two weeks this past Wendesday.  :) 

He has adjusted seamlessly!  He came in and as I tucked him in the first night he said, "I DID IT!  I'm in my new bed and your hair is red!".  He's so excited to be here with all his "brothers and sisters".  Seriously I hear the words "brothers and sisters" at least 25 times a day from him.   

He is doing so well that I can't even imagine that he just arrived.  You'd never know if you came into our house that he has only been here for 17 days!  He acts like he's always been here.  His foster parents did an awesome job of helping us transition him.  He seems to understand everything wonderfully.  He hasn't cried or asked to go "home" like I thought was likely to occur.  He asked the first night, "I can't go back to my old home again right", but he didn't say it in a sad way.  I said "It is very far so we can't go visit, but we can draw pictures or write a letter and I'll take you to put it in the mailbox."  His response was, "No, I already did that.  I home home now!".  He keeps saying "We are all together".  It is like God just made his heart all ready for this family. 

I'll try to come on and tell you more about all the fun and busy things we've been doing tomorrow.  I'll leave you with a picture from the flight. 

Isn't he adorable???? 

Ground Turkey Meals

I use ground turkey much more often than beef.  It is a lot healthier and frankly I don't eat beef.  I buy the ground turkey at Sam's in a package that has 2 packages connected that total 5 pounds. 

I put 5 lbs of ground turkey in my (very large) skillet 

Add a little water and minced onion and brown the meat

I season this with mostly Taco Seasoning, but sometimes a little Chili Powder as well

Then I add 2 bag of thawed (in microwave) Mirepoix blend (I get this at Krogers when it is on sale for like 98 cents a bag) that consists of chopped onion, carrots, and celery

I add two cans of Rotel (or off brand similar) tomatoes

Then I add one can of black beans when it is close to all done so they don't get mashed up.

I serve this over chips as the meat for a Nacho Belle Grande type of dinner.

This will also go into soft taco shells and be served as the main dish the next night.

We will have it a 3rd night (not consecutively or they get tired of it lol) as the meat over a salad with tortilla chips broken over it and salsa or other Mexican food sauces.  I usually serve a side with this of some time of bread or put shredded cheese into soft taco wraps and bake to go with it.

I get a 4th meal out of it by adding that same meat into my Spaghetti sauce for a Spaghetti dinner. 

By this point we've had 4 dinners (each serving 14 people with some left over) by using 5 pounds of meat.  :)  They get some vegetables and fiber snuck in as well without even noticing.  I also don't have nearly the prep time that it would take to prepare 4 meals if the meat wasn't already done. 

CHEAP, EASY, YUMMY, AND FEEDS LOTS OF US!  :)

Snack Mix

I get a lot of questions about how I feed them all, so I thought I'd do a series of posts about the ways I make food work.  :)

One of my kids' favorite things in our "Snack Mix".  I started making snack mix as a way to give them good snacks with stuff they like, but keeping it as healthy and low fat as possible.  I also HATE TO WASTE anything.  On top of that our snacks need to be low sodium because my oldest three had high blood pressure until I adjusted their diet (mainly cut out school lunches). 

Here's what I do! 

I go through our "cereal cabinet" and get different cereals that have been mostly finished.  I put them all into a huge container.  I add some type of small marshmallows (the kids especially like it if they are seasonal - snowmen, spring time, heart shaped).  I then add some chocolate chips, M&Ms, Reeses Pieces.  If we have a partially eaten package of pretzels or gold fish crackers then they get added. 

Just a quick and careful (non crunching) mixing with my hand and we have a snack that will last for quite a while.  If another bag of cereal gets almost empty then I just add it whenever it gets that way.  Right now I did a special one for Spring and added a package of jelly beans to the mix. 

It has just enough "sweet" and "junk" to it that the kids ask for it, but plenty of cereal, crackers, pretzels, etc that it is a good snack as well. 

I love it because it eliminates waste, saves money, and is something they all love!

Reminding Myself of the Cost of Adoption

My frustration level is running so high right now. I want to hold Cody and get closer to bringing my children from Eastern Europe home too. My international homestudy is having corrections made and so I still haven't been able to send it off to USCIS. That is driving me NUTS! Cody's adoption is being once again prolonged because ICPC in Ohio is making us have more background checks run on my two daughters that are legally adults, even though we had everything run that was required before now. I don't know when things are going to move. I am tired of pushing, but I have to push. I have to get them all home!


Some days it really does feel impossible and like it is too much. Some days I wonder if Cody will ever make it home. Some days I beg God to take the enemy out of the mix and let things run smoothyly (ok that one happens more than "some" days).

When the times come I have to remind myself of the cost of adoption. I don't mean the cost to me of these adoptions either. I mean the cost of my Father to adopt me!

See my Father loved me so much that He had His Only Son go to die for the sins I would do. He loved me enough to sacrafice His Son! All of that just so He could ADOPT me! I am not worthy at all. I hadn't even been born yet. I wasn't even suffering from my sins yet. He did all that for me, before I was ever born.

Wow, when you look at that "cost", then I really have no room to whine or gripe. I really can't even bring myself to stomp or pout! I have to just thank Him for loving me that much. If that is all He'd ever done for me then He would have gone to the extreme, yet He didn't stop there! He loves me each day. He loves me so much that He has allowed me to be blessed with 12 children here already and 5 more than are already in my heart and need to make it home. They were His from the beginning of time and yet He chose me to get to love them, fight for them, and learn true love from them. I know about His true love in a way that people who've never loved a child that they were yet to hold will never understand. I know that He loved me even when I was so far from Him. I know how He rejoiced at my "adoption" even though He already had so many others, but yet I was so special to Him.

I am going to go to bed very thankful tonight for all of that. I am going to once again beg my Father to move things along and slap the devil out of our business. I am going to pray that He helps my little ones know that they have a mommy who loves them. I am going to keep right on plowing along. I am going to do it with a heart of gratitude because He deserves it! I may not feel the peace of them all in my arms, but His peace can help me ride the waves until we get them into my arms.

Thank You God for adopting me and the sacrafice that it took. Thank You for making the price I pay to adopt my babies so much less.

Why Days Like This ARE Still WORTH IT!

Today has been rough. Cody's adoption is taking much longer than we thought. The enemy really hates adoption and is attacking so many that I know of right now. I just saw this song for the first time though. It is just wonderful! It reminds me of how some asked if we "really" planned to continue with adopting Paula when we knew she wasn't responding. Even if she never responds then it would be worth it, but just imagine the joy if she does surpass all those odds. The same is true with each one that I am waiting to bring home right now: Cody, Paula, Anjelina, Nicholas, and Ahnja! No matter how hard it is, no matter how much heartache, no matter the trials or the cost - IT IS WORTH IT JUST TO HAVE THE OPPORTUNITY TO SHOW THEM WHAT IT REALLY MEANS TO BE LOVED!


Enjoy the song and say a prayer for all our little ones and their processes.

Our Family From The Beginning (In Pictures)

As I was going through pictures the other day, I realized that our family pictures really do tell the story of "us".  Here is a little play by play for you all.  :)

This is our first "Family Picture".  Precious had been home just a few months.  She was 8 1/2 when she joined our family.  Dayton was just a few weeks old here.  :)  This was taken in December of 2001.

Next came Denzell who was 7 at the time and Unique who was then 11.  Everyone thought THAT was a BIG family.  lol  They had already been home for several months in this picture.  (I don't have the Spring picture on this computer.)  This was taken in November of 2003.

Next came Andrew who was then age 5 and Forrest who was age 7 at the time.  This picture was taken in Spring of 2006.  :)  People then realized we were "crazy".  haha

Next came Crystal who was 8, Destiny who was 4, and Ezekiel who was 3.  They made us into a family of 11 people and pushed us into most people's "Extreme Large Family" category.  Gotta love a 50% increase in the number of children!  This picture was taken in December of 2007. 

The next additions were close together.  Jose was 7 and Jacob was 5 when they arrived in January of 2009.  Julianne arrived at age 2, just 2 months later.  This picture was taken around May of 2009.

Our last family picture was taken in December of 2009.  We usually always do pictures at Christmas, but I just couldn't do them this year when Cody was so much a part of us, but not here yet.  I promised myself and the kids that we'd do one when he gets home.  I will go ahead and do them before the kids get home from Eastern Europe.  We will then get another as soon as they are all settled in enough to after their arrival home. 

Here is our most recent picture from December 2009.

I can't wait to get everyone in one picture.  I wonder if we will manage to get them all to look at the camera.  :) 

Can't you see how big God has blessed us?  I mean, to most this would be insane, but to us it is just the biggest blessing imaginable.  We are truly and amazingly blessed! 

Large Family/Time with the Kids

I have heard over the years many times about how people worry the kids won't get enough attention or "one on one attention".  I was thinking about it for a few days as we have all our time together.  It really did make me laugh.

I spend more time with my kids than most parents.  My kids homeschool so I am with them all day long every day!  I work with them one and one and I get to see the "light bulb" when they understand each new concept.  I know all about their personalities, thoughts, desires, and quirks.  I rarely miss a moment of their lives!

Many families have two working parents.  They have their kids for a few hours in the evenings, run to sporting events, and have weekend time. It works for them and many take extra care to raise well adjusted and loving children. 

I'm not here to debate stay at home vs working mothers.  I know some of both who do exceptional jobs! 

I just wonder if the people who ask "how?" I can do it take into consideration that I have my children for many more hours per day than many parents do??? 

My kids have me all day long every day.  They get plenty of attention and are doing exceptionally well. 

If you came across this and you are thinking about whether you should add to your family or feeling guilty that a new addition will take away from your current children, DON'T.  God gave mommies lots of love to go around and more family members just means more people to love each other.  My kids will tell you that they can't find a negative to it.  They love each other dearly and can't wait to have more brothers and sisters to share family life with.  :)