Easter is a wonderful time here and we are ready to celebrate. Christmas and Easter are holidays that we wait for all year round. They are wonderful times for us to teach our children so much. We of course have family time that is important and we are so sad that our 5 Bulgarian Blessings are not here to celebrate with us.




More important than "how" we celebrate is WHY we celebrate. We are really celebrating the ransom that was paid for OUR ADOPTION. The cost to bring us into God's family was so HUGE that it could only be paid by God sending His Son to DIE. Oh my what a price!! I can't imagine. He DIED so that I could be adopted!!!! Does our world get that??? Do our churches get that???? Do Christians get that???? Do you get that??? Do I get that????



I often hear about the high cost of adoption. People talk about it as if it is some reason thing. They act as if it is surprising. Adopting one child from Bulgaria costs about $21,000. That is a lot of money to us and most people. Adding children to the adoption is not nearly as costly, but there is cost. People often bring up the cost. It is criticized by opponents of adoption. Most adoptive parents think that it shouldn't be so costly. Most of us would do it over and over if we could. Yet there is that BIG amount of money that you have to come up with. We also often hear it referred to as the "ransom". Its like your child is being held hostage and you have to come up with that ransom to bring them home. It is a "ransom" because it is paid for their freedom.



Ransom - isn't that would Jesus paid for us!!! He found us to be "worth it" and each and every waiting child is too. He died for each one of them, just as He did for us. Each of them was made in His image, just as we were. He paid that price for us, because of OUR SINS. The waiting children didn't DO anything to end up orphans and in need. They were just born.



So for all those who think adoption is just "too costlly", so was mine! If you are saved by the blood of Jesus, then your adoption was costly too. None of us are asked to give up any of our children currently home and in our care in order to adopt another. We don't have to throw them out, let alone have them DIE! So many people wonder about taking material things away from their current kids in order to care for another child or save for their adoption. HELLO!!! Heaven to Christians here!! God had His Son die, so I think our kids can do without iphones and big vacations!!!



Jesus died! He didn't stay dead, PRAISE GOD! He overcame death and rose from the dead! We serve a living Savior. That doesn't change the fact though that He suffered a horrible death and even worse the separation from His Father as OUR sins were put upon Him. All of that so that we could be adopted into the Family of God!



Celebrate Him! Not with eggs, chocolate, and family alone though!! He doesn't want your chocolate (though my kids love it)! He wants your LIFE! If He died for us, then we should be pleased to live for Him. We should want to be His Hands and His Feet!! We should want to ADOPT, because we as adopted children should know the Hope and Love and Need.



This Easter don't forget what it really all means! It is about adoption. It is about love. It is about sacrafice. It is about Jesus! Now what are you going to do about it?

Go visit Reece's Rainbow and see all the waiting children!

They all are hoping that you really "get" Easter this year!



The Hidden Treasures Auction ends tonight. There are some great items up for bid. I'd love for you to go bid and it is a step in the direction of caring for orphans. I'd much rather you adopt though. Children are waiting and they are God's children.

The Reality of Paper Pregnancy-Not How it Looks

Ok, I thought I would write this on April 1st, but I just couldn't manage it.  I was just too emotional to even talk about being emotional. 

Here are some things everyone should know about those of us waiting.  I actually had another adoptive mom ask how I was holding up.  She said that on Facebook I look really positive and she knew that I had to be a wreck so to speak. 

The truth is that often times people ask how things are going.  I say "Fine, just please pray for the paperwork to move and for the kids and that Keith will be fed and cared for". 

I walk into church smiling.

I go through Walmart being pleasant.

When someone asks at the wrong moment, I turn it into a lighter thing and say that I'm going to get a room at the mental hospital if the paperwork doesn't move.

The truth about how I'm doing is "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!". 

I can't say and look how I really feel.  I have 13 kids here that are counting on me to be what keeps their worlds steady.  They deserve to have a mom who is keeping it together, even if inside she is screaming.  They deserve a mom who can have fun with them and enjoy their childhood with them, because they are here and they are worth the extra effort. 

On the days that are hardest I get them busy with something (movies are great for that since we don't watch much tv) and tell Denzell that I'm going to sneak and take a nap.  I lay in my bed and cry and beg God to pull the devil off of us and move that paperwork.  I beg Him to make someone pick Keith up and give him a bottle.  I beg that Keith's diaper will be changed.  I beg Him to make them come home quickly.  I beg that they are all kept safe and given dreams of a family who adores them while they sleep, so that they will hold onto hope.  Then I fall asleep for 20 minutes or so and wake up knowing that my Father is big enough to take care of it.  I also have peace knowing that God knows how much I love them and understands my despair. 

No one really wants to hear how I really feel.  What would people do if they said "How are you doing?" and I said "Oh about like you'd be doing if your children were being held hostage in some other country where you couldn't take care of them and your baby was starved to the point that he was only 12 pounds at 5 years old"?????  I can bet that they'd never ask again!  They also wouldn't understand though.  See most people don't fall completely head over hills in love with children that they've never held or touched.  They have no idea what it is like to love a child that they haven't given birth to and they don't imagine that it could be the same deep love.  IT IS!!!  It is the love that you have for any of your kids.  It is the love that means you would let someone chop off your leg if it would get them home and make them safe and healthy.  It is just the same as if they took your baby you'd never held from the hospital and put them in the horrible place where Keith is. 

IT HURTS EVERY SINGLE MINUTE OF EVERY SINGLE DAY!!! 

I don't go 5 minutes without the tears welling up and the choking feeling in my throat.

It takes a concious effort to appear "ok" and look "happy" for my kids.

Today a good friend asked how things were and I told her that the devil has attacked us in 150 ways since Brent got back.  She hugged me and I couldn't keep from crying.  There were no kids and I knew she was a "safe" person to be real with.  Boy did I feel better later!  Being "real" for a few minutes made it a little longer this evening before the desire to fall in a pile and cry for my babies came and I choked it back. 

That's what everyone needs to know.  I'm sure you all know other adoptive moms.  This is our reality.  Pray for us and more importantly PRAY FOR OUR KIDS!  Pray for our processes.  Pray for each person who touches the paperwork.  Pray for those who are the "caregivers" for our kids.  PRAY! 

Thanks for reading!  Just trying to be "real".  Maybe other moms can share my "real" and let others know how their lives are going right now.  God is good and He holds us together, but it is HARD.

Please go check out the HIDDEN TREASURES AUCTION that is being done for Keith right now.  There are over 100 items up to bid on!

So Much Going On

There is so much going on.  Most of it is happening on the other blog right now though.  lol  The Mulligan Stew Giveaway just ended and really blessed and encouraged us more than you could possibly realize.  The Hidden Treasures Auction started today to help with adoption costs in honor of Keith.  Without even realizing it, they started it on his 5th Birthday (and Ahnja's 10th birthday). 

It is so hard today to know they are celebrating birthdays without a family again.  This will be the last one though! 

Here are some posts to go read and see all that is going on:

TODAY

Mulligan Stew Giveaway Thank You

This will take you to the HIDDEN TREASURES AUCTION.  Each item has its own post so you have to keep going back and even click on March 31st because some of the things were posted that night.  LOTS of neat things and all the proceeds help with our adoption costs!

Those should fill you in!  :) 

Here are some pictures of Julianne from after church today!

ISN'T SHE ADORABLE?!?