About Me

I have adopted 4 children from a specific orphanage in Eastern Europe and I want to see more children redeemed from that orphanage and brought into families. I want to make sure that the children who are still left behind in that place are never forgotten.

Friday, May 6, 2011

Rough Day

This has been one of my roughest days.  I just needed to cry and even after I cried, I still needed to cry more.  I kept thinking about Cody.  I'm sure he went to preschool today.  While he was there I am sure they discussed Mother's Day. 

My baby boy, who I love so very much, has never had a "mother".  He's been in foster care his whole life!  Recently he was told that he has a "Mama" (that's what he calls me - isn't it cute?).  Yet, he still goes through another Mother's Day without a mother.  I mean, I am here and I love him.  Its just that the hateful woman at ICPC will not let me bring him home.  I love him more than words could possibly explain.  Yet I sit here feeling as if I too have failed him.  Why can't I get him home?  I can't imagine his situation.  I mean, what does he think???  I can imagine he wonders why everyone else has mothers to come pick them up and love them each day.  I can imagine he wonders why his just speaks to him for a few minutes whenever his foster mother chooses to call and sends him a present once a week. 

I can't stop the tears from flowing.  I just can't stop weeping for what he must feel.  I can't understand what more it will take to get him home.  I know people that have gotten their children home from overseas much faster than this!  I don't understand!  Why won't they let me bring him home??????? 

Please don't get the wrong idea.  I know how blessed I am!  I am very blessed and I am so thankful to be a mother to my brood and my 5 who haven't arrived.  I understand why my children from Eastern Europe aren't home yet.  I long for them, but I undrerstand.  Why can't I get Cody home from Texas?  We are at the point of it being 11 months! 

I beg of you to pray.  Pray hard that I hold him soon.  Pray hard that he comes into my arms and that he knows how much I love him.  Pray hard that I can deal with these feelings of hate that come over me when I think of the woman and the system that have kept him from me so long.  Pray that he is somehow made to understand in a way that only God can, that his "Mama" loves him so very much and wants to hold him so badly.  Just . . . PRAY!