Reminding Myself of the Cost of Adoption

My frustration level is running so high right now. I want to hold Cody and get closer to bringing my children from Eastern Europe home too. My international homestudy is having corrections made and so I still haven't been able to send it off to USCIS. That is driving me NUTS! Cody's adoption is being once again prolonged because ICPC in Ohio is making us have more background checks run on my two daughters that are legally adults, even though we had everything run that was required before now. I don't know when things are going to move. I am tired of pushing, but I have to push. I have to get them all home!


Some days it really does feel impossible and like it is too much. Some days I wonder if Cody will ever make it home. Some days I beg God to take the enemy out of the mix and let things run smoothyly (ok that one happens more than "some" days).

When the times come I have to remind myself of the cost of adoption. I don't mean the cost to me of these adoptions either. I mean the cost of my Father to adopt me!

See my Father loved me so much that He had His Only Son go to die for the sins I would do. He loved me enough to sacrafice His Son! All of that just so He could ADOPT me! I am not worthy at all. I hadn't even been born yet. I wasn't even suffering from my sins yet. He did all that for me, before I was ever born.

Wow, when you look at that "cost", then I really have no room to whine or gripe. I really can't even bring myself to stomp or pout! I have to just thank Him for loving me that much. If that is all He'd ever done for me then He would have gone to the extreme, yet He didn't stop there! He loves me each day. He loves me so much that He has allowed me to be blessed with 12 children here already and 5 more than are already in my heart and need to make it home. They were His from the beginning of time and yet He chose me to get to love them, fight for them, and learn true love from them. I know about His true love in a way that people who've never loved a child that they were yet to hold will never understand. I know that He loved me even when I was so far from Him. I know how He rejoiced at my "adoption" even though He already had so many others, but yet I was so special to Him.

I am going to go to bed very thankful tonight for all of that. I am going to once again beg my Father to move things along and slap the devil out of our business. I am going to pray that He helps my little ones know that they have a mommy who loves them. I am going to keep right on plowing along. I am going to do it with a heart of gratitude because He deserves it! I may not feel the peace of them all in my arms, but His peace can help me ride the waves until we get them into my arms.

Thank You God for adopting me and the sacrafice that it took. Thank You for making the price I pay to adopt my babies so much less.

Why Days Like This ARE Still WORTH IT!

Today has been rough. Cody's adoption is taking much longer than we thought. The enemy really hates adoption and is attacking so many that I know of right now. I just saw this song for the first time though. It is just wonderful! It reminds me of how some asked if we "really" planned to continue with adopting Paula when we knew she wasn't responding. Even if she never responds then it would be worth it, but just imagine the joy if she does surpass all those odds. The same is true with each one that I am waiting to bring home right now: Cody, Paula, Anjelina, Nicholas, and Ahnja! No matter how hard it is, no matter how much heartache, no matter the trials or the cost - IT IS WORTH IT JUST TO HAVE THE OPPORTUNITY TO SHOW THEM WHAT IT REALLY MEANS TO BE LOVED!


Enjoy the song and say a prayer for all our little ones and their processes.

Jacob Progress

This is something that doesn't happen that often!  There is JACOB PROGRESS! 

I've been working with Jacob to try and get him to do some things on his own.  He has done NOTHING when we are watching for 2 years.  I want him to come out of the room when he gets dressed so we started there and had a few successes.  I decided to push toward him taking care of his bathroom needs once in there.  I wanted him to wipe, pee, and put on a pull up on his own.  (He wouldn't even stand up without being told!) 

Today lots happened!  I said "Jacob wipe, pee, and get your pull up on", from outside the door.  He did it!  I went in and assisted with making sure his hands were clean.  I took him to his room and gave him his clothes to put on.  He did it immediately - even the right way!  The he CAME OUT all on his own!  A little while later, he was trying to make baskets with the hoop on a door in the family room.  He made a few shots and was smiling!  He was even catching the rebounds some! 

Don't get me wrong, we have a huge way to go still!  God showed me the progress that I needed to see to give me hope though! 

Praise the Lord!  Jacob is alive inside there and we are gradually winning the battles against the RAD!  God is amazing and I am blessed!

Satan is on the Prowl and That Must Mean . . . . .

That GREAT things are in the works! I am determined to see the good in the trials. Today it was the van. I got all 12 kids ready for church and Brent realized that a couple tires were low on the "big van". He took it down the road to get a little air and the next thing I know he says he can't get them to hold air. :( Zeeky was TICKED! One thing that is not fun is Zeeky (6 years old and has autism, FAS, and fetal drug exposure) when he is dressed and not "going"! lol All the kids were ready with coats on and ready to go.


Brent did get it to Sam's and they fixed the tires. We were so glad that God worked it out where we wouldn't need new tires! New tires for our big van were going to run $800! The people working there were very nice and told him that really the tires were still great. They need new valves where the air goes in and to be resealed to the rims. One did have a nail in it, but who knows how long that has been there. I haven't drove the big van anywhere since last Sunday night. That wasn't even the tire that was the most concerning since it was just a little low and another was barely holding air at all! God is AMAZING like that!

Tonight we made it to church! We had an awesome service and feel so ready for the week. I'm sure that the devil will keep on throwing stones at us. Thankfully, God provides! The new refrigerator is even bigger than the first one. :) I just try to remember that if we weren't on the right track then the devil would have no reason to even bother with us! He hates it when adoptions are in the works. He has always made life difficult right before each adoption. Right now we have Cody's adoption and the 4 from Eastern Europe all at the same time. He is ticked off! :) The international adoption must tick him off even worse. These kids would have all stayed in institutions their entire lives and their light and purpose that God gave them would have never got to shine. God has put us here to bring them home though! We won't be stopped by vans, refrigerators, or the devil.
It really reminds me of one of the songs I have on my Iphone sung by the Veggie Tales. I love it more than the kids I think. :) "GOD IS BIGGER THAN THE BOOGEY MAN"!!