About Me

I have adopted 4 children from a specific orphanage in Eastern Europe and I want to see more children redeemed from that orphanage and brought into families. I want to make sure that the children who are still left behind in that place are never forgotten.

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

The Backsliding of the RADishes

Crystal and Andrew had been doing so well. I mean they were doing REALLY well. I knew it wouldn't last forever. I am not a newbie at this RAD thing, so I knew that it would return sometime soon with another round. It did.

We hadn't been to my grandparents' house for a month. We usually go there much more often than that, but with school starting back here full force and some other stuff going on it just hadn't happened. Brent was working this evening and Tuesday morning are his time to homeschool. I took Destiny to a check up with our medical provider. He got them up and going just as he did last week for homeschool.

The RADishes realized we were going somewhere, so they went into "RAD mode". Andrew tried out not writing his vocabulary definitions. Crystal went back to working on stuff and not telling us she had already done it so that we can get it checked. Andrew wrote so sloppy that you couldn't read it. Crystal did all of her math problems except for 4 and then wouldn't change the answers on those. Andrew finally made it to math and acted like he couldn't do his paper even though he could do it on the white board. Crystal began to shed fake tears over her math, while pretending that she really thought you could subtract and get a bigger number as your answer.

Oh yes, my RADishes were back to their games today. It is ok, because they didn't get the pity that they were hoping for at my grandparents' house. They got to sit on the hill where I could see them out the window. Of course, they didn't get the cookies or ice cream either! They looked all sad while they did it, but the pity never came for them.

I discussed with them how "not mad" I was. I told them that I understand that they just can't handle normal interactions with other adults. I let them know that at ages 9 and 11, I expect them to tell me things with words. This might sound like "Mom, I just can't handle having fun at Mommom and Daddy Bill's house today, so I need to sit outside". Then I could reply with "Thank you for letting me know how you are feeling. I would be glad to let you sit on the porch if you'd like and I will bring your treats to you out there.". I reminded them that talking with words helps them get what they need and prevents them from using their behavior to speak for them. I reminded them that using words to get help doesn't have consequences, but using bad behavior does. I let them know that if they had used their words then they wouldn't have gotten behind on their school work and had more to do tomorrow either.

Big hugs and a bedtime reminder of how much they are loved did follow. I really do love those two little brats, but I wish they would use words instead of behaviors! I hope they are back to behaving tomorrow. I will probably know when I first look at them. You can see their wheels turning for ways to try and get away with RAD behaviors at first glance if you know what you are looking for, but sometimes it is scary to look. lol Praying hard for the RAD to go to the back and love to come to the front!

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