My Jericho

Tonight we watched Veggie Tales. I will admit that a few of the kids complained. I was really the one who wanted to watch Veggie Tales. I told them that it was the only option for tv, so they watched it with me. They ended up enjoying it of course and Julianne saw a few of the episodes for the very first time. We watched "Rack, Shack, and Benny" first. It went so well with Julianne that we watched "Josh and the Big Wall" next.

Its funny, I'm 30 years old and God always speaks to me through Veggie Tales. The song on "Josh and the Big Wall" says "God has given this plan to us, no need to fuss, He knows what He's doing". WOW! That is really all I can say that sounds adequate.

The whole thing is about how God's plan didn't make any sense, but it was THE WAY. I mean really who would figure that marching around a wall, blowing trumpets, and just following God by trusting Him to do what made no sense was THE WAY to make the walls of Jericho come falling down!?? It is really though in every day life for us as Christians. We are just supposed to FOLLOW HIS PLAN. We don't have to figure it out. We don't have to do the mathmatical equations, figure out the psychology behind it, or feel confident of "our abilities" to do it. That in itself doesn't make sense, right? We just have to feel confident in "His ability" to direct us the right way, lead us the right way, and use us as willing servants. It sounds so simple, but in reality it is all He asks and usually what we don't want to do. We as humans want to do it our way and be able to "handle" it. When we do it His Way though the walls just come falling down! Then we receive all the rewards that He promises us and see the glory that comes with following Him.

My Joshua is different than what others probably see as "My Jericho". Most people would think that "Jericho" for me would be just having 12 kids, or adopting children from foster care, or having children with special needs. Maybe in the beginning "Jericho" was following Him through all the steps of adoption. I guess those are walls that we have definitely seen Him make fall and definitely areas we had to trust Him for each time. We are in the process of trying to adopt again, so we send out endless homestudies just waiting for the walls to fall and Him to show us the next "Promised Land" which to us is sweeter than anything that the children of Israel could have imagined. I mean really imagine seeing the FACE OF YOUR CHILD and knowing they are yours for the first time!

The hard "Jericho" for me is my children with Reactive Attachment Disorder though. I mean none of it makes any sense if you think about it, but so much sense in other ways too. I understand why they don't trust adults, when the adults who should have taken care of them early in life failed them so many times. I understand how they could think that parents are of no real use to them. What is hard for me is exactly how God expects me to fix it. ???????????? I guess that every once in a while I just need the reminder that He doesn't expect me to make their walls fall down. I just have to keep marching around them and blowing the trumpets. I don't know how many times. That really doesn't matter. What matters is that I keep on marching around them! What matters is that I am willing to let others think whatever they want when I say "please don't hug them (talk to them, give them anything, make them think that you feel sorry for them, or even look at them sometimes *the list changes by the day and child and many other factors*) because when you do it makes them have an even harder time realizing that they need their mommy". GOD WILL MAKE THOSE WALLS FALL DOWN! I just have to trust Him to use my little bit of faith and my ability to make myself look like a fool when needed, to show my faith in Him and love for them.

Oh how I'd like to have a formula, mathematical equation, or pill that would fix it all. THE FACT IS THOUGH THAT GOD IS MUCH MORE ABLE AND MUCH MORE WILLING TO BRING DOWN THOSE WALLS. I just have to be the willing soldier. I think being asked to just love them and continue to march is a pretty great thing to be asked to do. I really do love all three of my RAD kids. I know that the inside of them that will some day fully be shown is far greater than "Jericho", but for now I will just march. I've seen the rewards with my other children with "attachment difficulties" and it was never as hard as these three, but we see small rewards already. GOD IS GOOD!