We are up for a matching meeting tomorrow. I can't go into details because well - I just can't. lol What I can say is that I really want this to work out and to know tomorrow that I am a mommy to this little one.
Some probably wonder what a "matching meeting" even is. Well that is the day that they determine to decide which family is a "match" for a certain child. They may have many families or even just one. You only get chosen if you are considered to be the "right family" for that "specific child". I guess in some form that "nonadoptive" folks can relate to, it would be similar to taking a pregnancy test when you've been waiting and trying for months (or years for some) and finding out if you are "paper pregnant" in our world. Except for "adoptive folks" that child already exists and is somewhere waiting. You are waiting in hopes of being "chosen" and in hopes of that child having a forever family as well. If you aren't "matched" then another family could be "matched" or the child could just continue to wait for who knows how long or maybe forever. See the significance and the pressure?
For those who wonder what the next step is after getting matched, it is kind of hard to say. See every adoption that we've ever done is different in so many ways that I don't even know what to expect. What I do know is that I go from my current state of "God, which child do you want me to be a mommy to and where are they" to the next state of "God, please please please please please let this process speed up. Thank you so much for letting them be mine, but please please please let me have them in my arms and home SOON.". I'm hoping to be in that state by tomorrow evening. :)
If it doesn't work out then I pray for the child and whatever family they are meant to be with. I then get even more determined to put out more homestudies and find whoever God does have for me. Now if you are wondering if I am crazy, then the answer is "OF COURSE" and if you know me personally then you already know that.
Tomorrow's matching meeting is a little more personal and my heart would hurt more if the answer is "not you". I kind of have my heart set on this little one and I am a little afraid of that because I hate it when my hopes are this high. So if you all want to say a little prayer that God's will shall be done tomorrow then that would be great. If you want to also pray that we really do get answers tomorrow instead of some "we'll let you know sometime" then that would be great as well.
I'll let you all know what happens and more details if I'm able to tomorrow evening.