We had a tornado warning here a few weeks ago. We also had a tornado warning to wait through on our way home from the zoo on Monday. They were a little unnerving. The kids always do good, but I hate to think they are even a little scared. I really just don't like tornado warnings.
Tonight I was reminded that there is something worse than keeping 12 kids corralled during a tornado warning.
What is worse is having my little boy so far away and know that he has a tornado warning. So really worse than having to go through a tornado warning WITH 12 kids, is having a tornado warning where my child is WITHOUT me. There was no way to know what the situation was there. There was no way to know when it was officially over. I couldn't look outside to see what the conditions were.
So I did what I could. I stayed glued to the weather channel. I watched it while my heart beat out of my chest. I watched while I prayed that God would keep him safe. Then I prayed for his foster mother who wasn't home and the little one that she is staying in the hospital right now.
When I got done praying about the tornado and storms, I resumed my constant prayer. GOD, PLEASE LET MY LITTLE BOY COME HOME SOON. PLEASE LET ME HOLD HIM. PLEASE LET ME TUCK HIM IN. PLEASE LET ME KNOW WHERE HE IS ALL THE TIME AND WHAT IS GOING ON AROUND HIM. LORD JESUS, PLEASE BRING MY LITTLE GUY HOME INTO MY ARMS.
This part of adoption is like if you gave birth and then they sent the child somewhere else for months. You love the baby, but you don't know when you will get to express that to your child. No one tells you anything about the "end" of waiting. You just hold on knowing that God has a plan.
So if you read this and you don't understand how I feel, just imagine if your child was in the situation and so were you. Quit thinking about the child as if they aren't mine yet. I know that is hard for parents who haven't adopted to understand. It is just the truth. In my heart he is just as mine as the child you gave birth to is your child. You wouldn't love your child less if someone else got to pick their name or if they were in TX right now. You would love them with your whole heart because that is what God made you to do. God made me to love Cody (and the rest of my crew!) and I do love him so very much.