I wrote this letter last night to the lady who is torturing me from ICPC. I sent it to my worker and asked her to forward it. I knew that she would read it and tell me the truth about what she thought. She emailed me back and said she'll send it on Monday if I would like, but that she doesn't think it will help. As of right now, they are asking for things they are allowed to ask for. It angers me incredibly that they are asking for these things ONE AT A TIME, instead of asking for them all at once in the beginning and making the process faster to bring home my son. I have to share the letter somewhere in order to get what I really think off of my chest so here it is.
I am writing this email as a plea for my little boy. Cody has spent his whole life in foster care and now is missing another holiday that should be spent with a family that adores him. I met Cody over two years ago. He was in the same foster home as my daughter Julianne. I fell in love with him while we were there. His red hair, blue eyes, and sweet personality made him irresistable! He wanted our attention so badly and was so close to our daughter as well. You can only imagine how hard it was to pull away with our daughter, who I had waited so long to hold, while he cried at the door. The complete joy of having her and heading home to our children was subdued by the tears in my eyes as I watched them pull him from the door crying. I knew that he still didn't have a family and that I just took the little girl who in his heart was his sister.
I understand that you have a job to do. I understand and also desire that homes are made sure to be acceptable before children are placed. I wish that the foster homes that most of my children came from were to have had half of this type of scrutiny applied to them! Children deserve the best and most of my children came from foster homes that I wouldn't leave my pets in. I am blessed that Cody is in one of the better foster homes that we've been to, but it still isn't a forever family.
I am begging you to just tell us what other hoops you want us to jump through. I've been doing adoptions for many years and I am very use to jumping through hoops. Thankfully, we have been blessed to work with Mended Reeds that is willing to jump through all these hoops for us as well. I must admit though that the hoops you are asking for seem extreme. I've spent the day begging and crying to try and get letters from everyone you wanted them from. I've had nurses tell me that a cerntain doctor won't do letters while I begged. I have then had to find alternative ways to try and do what is asked. See, I am a good circus dog and I am use to jumping through hoops to get my babies home. I find it much more difficult to be told to make others jump through hoops for me. Specialists do not like to be circus dogs. I do believe I have found ways to prove the things you have asked for after many tears.
I want you to imagine for a second that you were in a similar position. I'm not sure if you are a mother or not, but just imagine yourself as a mother. Imagine that your child is being held hostage. You are told that you can finally get your child into your arms. You are given the "ransom" demand and you run, scurry, and hurry to try and meet it quickly. Then imagine that each time you do this, the "ransom" is set higher and more difficult to pay. Imagine how helpless and emotionally exhausting that would be. Time after time I have paid the ransom for my children. I have gone above and beyond what I have been asked to do, because that is what Mommies do for their children.
My children have all come home and excelled beyond what they were ever believed to be able to do. I have proved myself over and over. I'm not a first time parent. I am a mother who has been blessed with many children. Birthparents are allowed to give birth to as many as they want (even if they don't take care of them!) and never are questioned with the scrutiny that we subject ourselves to time and time again as parents via adoption. We should be able to give homes to children who already exist, but are being denied the basic right to have families who love and adore them.
Please understand that Cody is a real person. (I attached a picture that his foster mother sent since we have been in regular contact with her and kept her updated on Julianne since she came home.) A real child, just like one you might give birth to yourself. He was handed a rough blow before he was ever born. He as shown miraculous improvements and genuine determination to over come many of those difficulties. He is a child first and foremost that deserves a family. He deserves to be adored by my husband and I and the 12 brothers and sisters who long for him each day. He deserves to go to bed at night in a room prepared for him and shared with a big brother who can't stand to sleep in there any more because it reminds him that the bed is empty and Cody is still not here. He needs his forever Mommy to tuck him in and tell him how loved he is and a Daddy that will teach him to hit the ball with the baseball bat. He deserves a real home and a real family life. Foster care is a horrible place for a child. It is aweful that so many have to stay there, but Cody has an alternative. Cody has parents who have longed to have him with them for over two years already. Cody is adored by a family who has proven over and over that they have the ability, determination, and love that it takes to raise children in a long term and permanent family.
My husband and I have proved time and time again that our children are our first priority. Cody is already ours in our hearts and he is a priority. We have proven that we will fight for what is right for them and that we love them beyond compare. God has blessed us with the ability to have a large family. I would take that right to the Supreme Court before I would ever back down from a child in need of a family that God lays on my heart. I can keep jumping through hoops, but it is just wasting Cody's time. Each day is another day missed with his forever family. Each day is more memories that he doesn't get to have.
Please, I beg of you to just let us have our son. He needs us and we need him home with us.
It will probably be the middle of next week, because of the holiday, before I can gather all of the letters that you have asked for. Please be ready with everything else to approve this case and let us bring our son home.