Heart Aching

My heart is aching so badly.  I want news on my little Cody coming home so badly.  I sent off a package to him this week, but haven't gotten any word of him getting it.  I want him to know that he is loved here.  I want him to start to think about "his family" loving him.  I want him to start to feel that love in there somewhere preparing him to come HOME. 

We sent him a teddy bear that had a picture of Brent and I on the front.  We also sent a small picture book with people and things labeled inside of it.  I was really hoping to hear from the foster mother that he got them and liked them.  I was really hoping to hear anything at all. 

I've heard nothing at all.  I may lose my mind with all this waiting. 

I know that the steroids for my asthma are making everything harder right now.  I feel yucky and it makes me have to work so much harder to keep my blood sugars under control.  I keep trying to convince myself that part of my heart ache is just the prednizone.  It really is just heart ache though. 

I have been "nesting" for so long that I'm running out of things to clean.  (Please don't laugh bc I'm seriously running out of things to keep my sanity.  lol)  I've worked today on my old closet.  I am trying to get that room ready for the two oldest girls to move into.  It will have to be repainted as well.  I don't plan to do it until spring though.  I need to buy other beds for that room and right now we are putting all of our money towards the international adoptions that isn't required for something else at this immediate moment.  I figure I can go ahead and get it spotless so that come spring it will be ready though I guess.

I have cleaned so much that Julianne is now starting to "clean things out".  When I wouldn't let her work on my closet with me today, she went and took everything out of the underneath of a cabinet in the kitchen.  She was so adorable that I couldn't stop her.  She took stuff out and stacked it.  She took other stuff out and put it on the island in the center of the kitchen. 

I wish I could feel my time waiting by taking care of my little guy.  I wish he were home to hug and listen to giggle.  Everyone else was giggling and playing today.  I couldn't help but wish to hear 5 other voices in the mix.  Cody will surely get home soon and hopefully that will help me to keep busy waiting for my four in Eastern Europe.

Prayers are appreciated for all of the to be in my arms soon.