Some days I just have to revel in the little things. Today I found a hat for Cody that said "Ohio" on the front. Its just a simple ball cap. I am just excited because he talks about coming to "Hio", so I thought it would be something to send him. :)
I'm hoping that Brent can make it to the post office for me tomorrow. This week has been extra busy. We went to get our fingerprints done for the international adoption on Monday and then drove extra to go to the zoo. Brent normally goes to the post office for me on Tuesdays, but I had to go to a different doctor in hopes of getting a doctor to sign off on my medical stuff for our dossier. (Still ticks me off that I can't have our medical provider do it. Anita is the best and who cares if her signature says CNP instead of MD!) Today I had to make a trip to the eye doctor, so Brent came home to sit with the kids. My eyes are so dry that it feels like my eye lids are sticking to my eye balls. (I know YUCK!) I can't figure out if they are worse because of all the antihistamines it takes to survive allergy season or if it is because of all the tears I've cried over our adoption processes and wanting to hold my babies.
Oh, I just remembered that I have stuff to send him from the zoo too. lol I guess the Ohio hat will probably wait until the next time. Maybe I can send it when we have a DATE for him to come to Ohio. :)
Dayton also picked him up something from the AWANA store. Dayton wasn't going to get anything at all until I told him that he could pick out something for Cody. I may wait until next week on it too though. I think he was wanting to write something to send with it.
I need to fall into bed. It would be so much easier to go to bed, if I could go check on all 5 of my children who only live in my heart and not my house right now. I'm sure Cody is fine, though I'm not sure about the 4 in Eastern Europe. Still, it is so much more peaceful when the children are within reach.
Thursday, May 26, 2011
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
Worse than Having 12 Kids in a Tornado Warning
We had a tornado warning here a few weeks ago. We also had a tornado warning to wait through on our way home from the zoo on Monday. They were a little unnerving. The kids always do good, but I hate to think they are even a little scared. I really just don't like tornado warnings.
Tonight I was reminded that there is something worse than keeping 12 kids corralled during a tornado warning.
What is worse is having my little boy so far away and know that he has a tornado warning. So really worse than having to go through a tornado warning WITH 12 kids, is having a tornado warning where my child is WITHOUT me. There was no way to know what the situation was there. There was no way to know when it was officially over. I couldn't look outside to see what the conditions were.
So I did what I could. I stayed glued to the weather channel. I watched it while my heart beat out of my chest. I watched while I prayed that God would keep him safe. Then I prayed for his foster mother who wasn't home and the little one that she is staying in the hospital right now.
When I got done praying about the tornado and storms, I resumed my constant prayer. GOD, PLEASE LET MY LITTLE BOY COME HOME SOON. PLEASE LET ME HOLD HIM. PLEASE LET ME TUCK HIM IN. PLEASE LET ME KNOW WHERE HE IS ALL THE TIME AND WHAT IS GOING ON AROUND HIM. LORD JESUS, PLEASE BRING MY LITTLE GUY HOME INTO MY ARMS.
This part of adoption is like if you gave birth and then they sent the child somewhere else for months. You love the baby, but you don't know when you will get to express that to your child. No one tells you anything about the "end" of waiting. You just hold on knowing that God has a plan.
So if you read this and you don't understand how I feel, just imagine if your child was in the situation and so were you. Quit thinking about the child as if they aren't mine yet. I know that is hard for parents who haven't adopted to understand. It is just the truth. In my heart he is just as mine as the child you gave birth to is your child. You wouldn't love your child less if someone else got to pick their name or if they were in TX right now. You would love them with your whole heart because that is what God made you to do. God made me to love Cody (and the rest of my crew!) and I do love him so very much.
Tonight I was reminded that there is something worse than keeping 12 kids corralled during a tornado warning.
What is worse is having my little boy so far away and know that he has a tornado warning. So really worse than having to go through a tornado warning WITH 12 kids, is having a tornado warning where my child is WITHOUT me. There was no way to know what the situation was there. There was no way to know when it was officially over. I couldn't look outside to see what the conditions were.
So I did what I could. I stayed glued to the weather channel. I watched it while my heart beat out of my chest. I watched while I prayed that God would keep him safe. Then I prayed for his foster mother who wasn't home and the little one that she is staying in the hospital right now.
When I got done praying about the tornado and storms, I resumed my constant prayer. GOD, PLEASE LET MY LITTLE BOY COME HOME SOON. PLEASE LET ME HOLD HIM. PLEASE LET ME TUCK HIM IN. PLEASE LET ME KNOW WHERE HE IS ALL THE TIME AND WHAT IS GOING ON AROUND HIM. LORD JESUS, PLEASE BRING MY LITTLE GUY HOME INTO MY ARMS.
This part of adoption is like if you gave birth and then they sent the child somewhere else for months. You love the baby, but you don't know when you will get to express that to your child. No one tells you anything about the "end" of waiting. You just hold on knowing that God has a plan.
So if you read this and you don't understand how I feel, just imagine if your child was in the situation and so were you. Quit thinking about the child as if they aren't mine yet. I know that is hard for parents who haven't adopted to understand. It is just the truth. In my heart he is just as mine as the child you gave birth to is your child. You wouldn't love your child less if someone else got to pick their name or if they were in TX right now. You would love them with your whole heart because that is what God made you to do. God made me to love Cody (and the rest of my crew!) and I do love him so very much.
Monday, May 16, 2011
My Sweet Cody
I was able to talk to Cody and his foster mother on Saturday. Hearing his sweet voice always gets me teary, but in a good way. You could tell that his foster mother is doing a good job getting him ready for the transition. I had sent a bunch of pictures that she requested to her via email that day. He had looked at them and was talking about the "toys" and the "climber". He wants to climb on it, but wants us to make sure he won't fall. When I told the kids later, they nearly fought over who would make sure he didn't fall. lol (I love this crew and how much they love their siblings before they ever arrive home!)
My favorite part of the conversation was when I told him that I loved him bunches. It was the very first time that he said "I love you bunches too Mama". :) I'm sure he doesn't even half understand how much I love him yet. I can't wait till he gets here and I can give him a little better idea though. :)
I also received mail from him today. He had taken foam letters and made his name and new last name on a piece of paper. He had colored on the paper a bit too. To say that the mail made my day today would be an understatement. I think I was like a little kid getting mail. lol
I'm so thankful that ICPC is done and things are rolling again. We appreciate all prayers that everything else continues to go well. Also pray for Cody. His foster parents have done a great job of preparing him so far. Even at that, he is only 4 years old and can't possibly fully comprehend what is really about to take place in his little life. He's been with these foster parents for a long time. Most of our kids came from places where they weren't very well taken care of, had been moved around a lot, or just weren't that loved. The fact he has been loved and cared for in the same foster home for so long is a wonderful thing. It means he will be able to understand the workings of a family much easier, trust adults much better, and transfer his attachment to us. On the other hand, it means that he will have a greater loss as well. Pray that God prepares his little heart and helps his foster parents as they will miss him greatly too. Also pray that however the social worker sets up the actual move is just right for him. I don't want him to feel kidnapped or hurt by it.
I'm waiting here to hold him and he'll adjust fine. He'll come to know that we are his "forever" family. He'll come to understand all the new family roles. Most of all, he will come to know that we are all one great big family who adores him and thanks God daily for him. :) In the meantime, pray for everything to go smoothly.
My favorite part of the conversation was when I told him that I loved him bunches. It was the very first time that he said "I love you bunches too Mama". :) I'm sure he doesn't even half understand how much I love him yet. I can't wait till he gets here and I can give him a little better idea though. :)
I also received mail from him today. He had taken foam letters and made his name and new last name on a piece of paper. He had colored on the paper a bit too. To say that the mail made my day today would be an understatement. I think I was like a little kid getting mail. lol
I'm so thankful that ICPC is done and things are rolling again. We appreciate all prayers that everything else continues to go well. Also pray for Cody. His foster parents have done a great job of preparing him so far. Even at that, he is only 4 years old and can't possibly fully comprehend what is really about to take place in his little life. He's been with these foster parents for a long time. Most of our kids came from places where they weren't very well taken care of, had been moved around a lot, or just weren't that loved. The fact he has been loved and cared for in the same foster home for so long is a wonderful thing. It means he will be able to understand the workings of a family much easier, trust adults much better, and transfer his attachment to us. On the other hand, it means that he will have a greater loss as well. Pray that God prepares his little heart and helps his foster parents as they will miss him greatly too. Also pray that however the social worker sets up the actual move is just right for him. I don't want him to feel kidnapped or hurt by it.
I'm waiting here to hold him and he'll adjust fine. He'll come to know that we are his "forever" family. He'll come to understand all the new family roles. Most of all, he will come to know that we are all one great big family who adores him and thanks God daily for him. :) In the meantime, pray for everything to go smoothly.
Saturday, May 14, 2011
Well We got our ICPC Approval
We got it on Wednesday! :) (I would've posted sooner, but there were blog issues yesterday)
That means that Cody is going to make it home very soon. I expect that he will arrive home in June. June will actually make a full year of working on his adoption. That is very frustrating and our government should do so much better than that. I am going to be positive though, so I can't talk about it. lol
I did find out that Cody has a whole routine for opening the packages we send him each week. First, he checks for his name. (A boy has to make sure it is HIS package!) Then he looks on the inside of the card for his name. Then he looks inside to see what we sent him in the package. I have to say that it is rare to find a child who is interested in the card first!
I also found out that he is extremely interested in reading. This excites me lots! I love teaching children to reading and watching the excitement on their faces when they "get it". He recognizes the names of the other 9 children in his classroom now. He is so interested that his teacher (at a special needs preschool!) is going to start teaching him some sight words. I am loving his smart little self pushing them to all see his brains instead of his cerebral palsy!
I went shopping today to get some educational fun stuff to send my little guy. I got him some flash cards. I am also sending some educational sticker books. The foster mother specifically requested some pages for him to trace. I decided on a whole book. :) I can't wait till he sees on the fun educational things that await him when he gets home. I'll send those things now, but when he gets home he'll hit the jack pot. I homeschool and my favorite part of our new addition to our home is the huge closet that I get to organize my learning supplies in. Even with that I've had to spill over into some other places for my supplies. :)
Ok, so here is my happy post. The very happy post will come soon about him coming home. I'm just sure of it!
Destiny also turned 8 today. I hope to blog about that tomorrow, if the children allow me to have time. :)
PRAISE THE LORD FOR THE BLESSING OF THE ICPC APPROVAL AND CONTINUE TO PRAY FOR A QUICK USCIS PROCESS FOR OUR EASTERN EUROPEAN LOVES!
That means that Cody is going to make it home very soon. I expect that he will arrive home in June. June will actually make a full year of working on his adoption. That is very frustrating and our government should do so much better than that. I am going to be positive though, so I can't talk about it. lol
I did find out that Cody has a whole routine for opening the packages we send him each week. First, he checks for his name. (A boy has to make sure it is HIS package!) Then he looks on the inside of the card for his name. Then he looks inside to see what we sent him in the package. I have to say that it is rare to find a child who is interested in the card first!
I also found out that he is extremely interested in reading. This excites me lots! I love teaching children to reading and watching the excitement on their faces when they "get it". He recognizes the names of the other 9 children in his classroom now. He is so interested that his teacher (at a special needs preschool!) is going to start teaching him some sight words. I am loving his smart little self pushing them to all see his brains instead of his cerebral palsy!
I went shopping today to get some educational fun stuff to send my little guy. I got him some flash cards. I am also sending some educational sticker books. The foster mother specifically requested some pages for him to trace. I decided on a whole book. :) I can't wait till he sees on the fun educational things that await him when he gets home. I'll send those things now, but when he gets home he'll hit the jack pot. I homeschool and my favorite part of our new addition to our home is the huge closet that I get to organize my learning supplies in. Even with that I've had to spill over into some other places for my supplies. :)
Ok, so here is my happy post. The very happy post will come soon about him coming home. I'm just sure of it!
Destiny also turned 8 today. I hope to blog about that tomorrow, if the children allow me to have time. :)
PRAISE THE LORD FOR THE BLESSING OF THE ICPC APPROVAL AND CONTINUE TO PRAY FOR A QUICK USCIS PROCESS FOR OUR EASTERN EUROPEAN LOVES!
Friday, May 6, 2011
Rough Day
This has been one of my roughest days. I just needed to cry and even after I cried, I still needed to cry more. I kept thinking about Cody. I'm sure he went to preschool today. While he was there I am sure they discussed Mother's Day.
My baby boy, who I love so very much, has never had a "mother". He's been in foster care his whole life! Recently he was told that he has a "Mama" (that's what he calls me - isn't it cute?). Yet, he still goes through another Mother's Day without a mother. I mean, I am here and I love him. Its just that the hateful woman at ICPC will not let me bring him home. I love him more than words could possibly explain. Yet I sit here feeling as if I too have failed him. Why can't I get him home? I can't imagine his situation. I mean, what does he think??? I can imagine he wonders why everyone else has mothers to come pick them up and love them each day. I can imagine he wonders why his just speaks to him for a few minutes whenever his foster mother chooses to call and sends him a present once a week.
I can't stop the tears from flowing. I just can't stop weeping for what he must feel. I can't understand what more it will take to get him home. I know people that have gotten their children home from overseas much faster than this! I don't understand! Why won't they let me bring him home???????
Please don't get the wrong idea. I know how blessed I am! I am very blessed and I am so thankful to be a mother to my brood and my 5 who haven't arrived. I understand why my children from Eastern Europe aren't home yet. I long for them, but I undrerstand. Why can't I get Cody home from Texas? We are at the point of it being 11 months!
I beg of you to pray. Pray hard that I hold him soon. Pray hard that he comes into my arms and that he knows how much I love him. Pray hard that I can deal with these feelings of hate that come over me when I think of the woman and the system that have kept him from me so long. Pray that he is somehow made to understand in a way that only God can, that his "Mama" loves him so very much and wants to hold him so badly. Just . . . PRAY!
My baby boy, who I love so very much, has never had a "mother". He's been in foster care his whole life! Recently he was told that he has a "Mama" (that's what he calls me - isn't it cute?). Yet, he still goes through another Mother's Day without a mother. I mean, I am here and I love him. Its just that the hateful woman at ICPC will not let me bring him home. I love him more than words could possibly explain. Yet I sit here feeling as if I too have failed him. Why can't I get him home? I can't imagine his situation. I mean, what does he think??? I can imagine he wonders why everyone else has mothers to come pick them up and love them each day. I can imagine he wonders why his just speaks to him for a few minutes whenever his foster mother chooses to call and sends him a present once a week.
I can't stop the tears from flowing. I just can't stop weeping for what he must feel. I can't understand what more it will take to get him home. I know people that have gotten their children home from overseas much faster than this! I don't understand! Why won't they let me bring him home???????
Please don't get the wrong idea. I know how blessed I am! I am very blessed and I am so thankful to be a mother to my brood and my 5 who haven't arrived. I understand why my children from Eastern Europe aren't home yet. I long for them, but I undrerstand. Why can't I get Cody home from Texas? We are at the point of it being 11 months!
I beg of you to pray. Pray hard that I hold him soon. Pray hard that he comes into my arms and that he knows how much I love him. Pray hard that I can deal with these feelings of hate that come over me when I think of the woman and the system that have kept him from me so long. Pray that he is somehow made to understand in a way that only God can, that his "Mama" loves him so very much and wants to hold him so badly. Just . . . PRAY!
Saturday, April 30, 2011
Praise and Prayer Request (ICPC related)
Ok, many of you already know that the ICPC lady has driven us insane. The cardiologist that Julianne sees was trying to finish me off. I mean, how can a doctor's office say they DON'T DO LETTERS! So finally I called again yesterday. I determined that I wasn't getting off the phone until someone cared! I cried so hard and pleaded for help so that I can bring Cody home. (I have a headache still today from the crying bc it isn't my norm, but good grief. I can only take so much and I was at my breaking point!)
Well, I go them to agree to sign a paper from our agency and they got him to do it SAME DAY! That is a major PRAISE! God had to have orchestrated that, because I had begged and cried before. So all the letters have been faxed to Mended Reeds!
I believe that our worker went ahead and faxed them yesterday to ICPC. PLEASE PRAY THAT THIS WOMAN BACKS OFF AND DOES WHAT NEEDS DONE FOR US TO BRING CODY HOME! I fear that getting through this hoop just means she will find a different hoop. I don't know what else she could possibly want, but I don't want to find out either. Please go to God on behalf of Cody and us to plead that He softens her heart toward us to let us bring Cody home.
Thanks for all the prayers!
Well, I go them to agree to sign a paper from our agency and they got him to do it SAME DAY! That is a major PRAISE! God had to have orchestrated that, because I had begged and cried before. So all the letters have been faxed to Mended Reeds!
I believe that our worker went ahead and faxed them yesterday to ICPC. PLEASE PRAY THAT THIS WOMAN BACKS OFF AND DOES WHAT NEEDS DONE FOR US TO BRING CODY HOME! I fear that getting through this hoop just means she will find a different hoop. I don't know what else she could possibly want, but I don't want to find out either. Please go to God on behalf of Cody and us to plead that He softens her heart toward us to let us bring Cody home.
Thanks for all the prayers!
Thursday, April 28, 2011
Blessed to be Her Mommy!
Tonight she fell asleep with me holding her. When she first came to us from Texas, she wouldn't do that. She would only go to sleep without us touching her. Tonight, as she turned around while watching television to put her head on my chest, I marvelled at our far that has come. The first time she fell asleep with me holding her was in a Sunday night church service at our church. I almost wouldn't get up to go home! lol
I am her Mommy and I am so happy to be. I can't wait till Cody and our little ones from Eastern Europe get home. I want to see how long I have to wait to get them that comfortable with me.
I sure do love being a Mommy!
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