Love This! (What a Mom of Many Wants for Mother's Day)

Of course, what I want most is my 5 Bulgarian Blessings in my arms, but since that isn't going to happen by Sunday - this is a good one!

Well here is a picture that you should see!  This is my crew coming into Walmart with their Daddy.  He took them on his own inside the store to go get me some flowers for Mother's Day.  I just haven't been able to bring myself to go pick up flowers to make the front of the house look fresh.  All I can think about is the kids across the ocean and getting anything done that might made the trip a little smoother.  So they went to get me flowers and I think they are even going to plant them for me for Mother's Day!

I just had to take a picture.  Aren't they all cute!?!  

We had just left our homeschool group's Field Day,

so they are a little dirty looking and worn out. 

(There are 13 kids in that picture, 

but there was no angle that got them all 

and a few ducked. roflol)

I have to say watch my big family file in and then watching from a distance as they checked out, only to get to go through the entire parking lot in a huge train (they closed the doors on the side we parked on!) - 

was a wonderful Mother's Day present!

Watching them at the Field Day, listening to them jabber all the way there and home, listening to Dayton ASK to get to push the buggy with the two littlest in it, and watching them all tell me who liked which flowers - 

PRICELESS!

AS IS THIS PICTURE!

I am so blessed!

Birthdaying Unroe Style

Jacob turned 9 years old today.  I'd love to show you what the day looked like and a picture of the birthday boy, but I didn't take any today.  Jacob will not look at the camera and it seemed a shame to waste time that we could be enjoying with him while trying to get him to do something that he is NOT going to do.  So I thought I'd paint you a "word picture" of Jacob's special day.

Jacob has RAD, selective mutism, and maybe a touch of Autism.  This was his 4th birthday home and the 1st time that he made it obvious that he definitely knew it was HIS special day and was excited about it!  When the first person told him Happy Birthday before church today, he took off dancing around the room.  He even tried to sneak and look in my Walmart bags when I came home from the store the other day and he heard the kids ask where to hide his presents!  (Come on special needs Mamas - you know that is big stuff!)  He also stood up for the Birthday Song at church this morning, but looked down like he was shy - yet had a very ornery smile on his face!

After church I headed to pick up the cupcakes and got some other stuff at the store, while everyone here had lunch.  When I got home, they were all very ready to get moving toward the wonderful day that was ready for them outside!  We got them ready quickly and out they went.  They played for quite a while.  I went out and got Cody to climb the dome climber all the way to the top.  That meant that suddenly Jacob and Zeeky wanted to as well!  :)  ( I love good peer pressure!)

Late this afternoon we went out to the picnic tables in the front yard and had Jacob's cupcakes and some milk. He was very excited about it and was very excited to open up the gift bag (yes, we've learned that especially with special needs kids that takes the stress out of it!) to see what he got for his birthday.  He was thrilled with the toys that you step on or it the little "thing" (very technical tonight aren't I?) and the Cars characters project from it.  I made sure to get 3 of them so that other kids would do it with him and it would be more enjoyable.

Then 7 of the kids and Brent played a game of wiffle ball out front.  I was putting on dinner, so I put Cody and Julianne in the plastic gate thing.  They'd only been in it 5 or so times ever, so they were excited about that even.  There were tons of giggles coming from that enclosure!  After I got dinner on, I went out to check on their game and bounce those big soft balls off of Julianne and Cody which was just a thrill full of continual laughter!  (Have I ever mentioned how much I love my life!?!)

I planned dinner to hit right after it got dark, since they weren't hungry from all the cake until late!  We took candles (real and batter powered both) out and ate on the picnic tables.  We had pork chops, asparagus, and stuffing.  The kids thought that was the best way to have dinner out in the dark!  Then, Dayton started sneaking up on people on scaring them while they were at the table.  Unique was laughing so loud that I had to make them quit.  The "non-homeschooled" neighbor children would have to have a hard time getting to sleep with all that loud squealing and laughter!

Then we started bringing some of the kids in for baths and showers, while the rest stayed outside in the dark with the glow sticks!  Yes, that is a favorite summer activity and they've been begging to since the first warm day.  Julianne, Cody, and Zeeky were done by that point and asking to come in, so they got to be first up for showers and baths.  The children managed to keep their squealing down to a minimum and played like crazy outside.  I was very glad that the gate was locked and I knew they couldn't get out.  I could however see glow sticks flickering all around the "ark" play structure.  :)

There is so much fun to be had in a large family.  Homeschooling gives us a flexible schedule that allows so much family time and we can adjust our schedule to what works best from day to day.  We don't take "snow days", but we can take a "Sun"day instead.  We can play out late, sleep in later, and still get a good days school in.  We get to spend time together and my kids are the best of friends.  The kids have a full "party" of kids here and can put together a game of about any size any day that they wish.  We don't need a bunch of activities, because their are enough of us to be active without the planned times.  :)  God has truly blessed us and right now all I could wish for us for our next 5 to be home with us too.

Now the children are all soundly asleep and the business day is beginning in Bulgaria, so I am going to head to bed myself and pray myself to sleep begging God to take care of my 5 Bulgarian Blessings as well as move our adoption through quickly so we can get them home.

The next birthday here is only 2 weeks away.  Destiny is exactly 2 weeks younger than Jacob and will turn 9 on Sunday two weeks from now.  I guess we really better get some rest!

Why Homeschooling is Better with a Large Crew

Yesterday I sat and listened while thanking God for my blessings. 

Destiny, Andrew, Crystal, Jose, Dayton, and Forrest have all been reading Charlottle's Web and doing a workbook about it from The Critical Thinking Company.  Yesterday I sat them all in a circle.  They were reading aloud and going over their answers.  They took turns without me having to tell them to while they read aloud.  They let each other all have input while they discussed the correct answers.  When they didn't all have the same answer, I got to listen to them reason it out and figure it out. 

My help really wasn't needed.  They had it under control.  I enjoyed listening to them so much that it was hard to concentrate on homeschooling the younger kids.  lol 

See, if I didn't have so many kids so close to the same age, I would likely have just graded those workbook pages.  Instead, I had lots of kids to talk it through together.  They learned MUCH more this way.  They learned more than just about Charlotte's Web too.  They learned so very much more.  How better to learn about thinking processes, teamwork, cooperation, including all viewpoints, and critical thinking!! 

I love having a lot of kids close in age!  It is a good thing too.  When everyone gets home, I will have 15 kids between the ages of 5 and 13, with all of the kids in that range having someone their same age at least part of the year.  Then I'll have the 3 older ones of course too!  :)  God is amazingly good and I am loving this life that He chose me for!

Progress on the Homeschool Front

Well, three of my boys HATE to write, color, and complete projects that include that stuff.  Cody is still preschool age, so his isn't as big of a deal.  Zeeky hates to do that stuff, but has begun to comply.  He also has shown that he is very bright and learning in other ways, so I'm always happy about that.  Jacob participates in coloring and tracing, but often puts little effort into it and will scribble hoping for a reaction which I refuse to give. 

I just have to share their accomplishments from the end of last week. 

Cody is only 5 and is smart as a tack. 

Cody has CP, but gets around great and does well in all areas.

I found this new book to work with him on actually coloring the WHOLE picture. 

He is good in all other areas, but completely coloring something in has been an issue. 

I can't get the picture to turn around to right side up,

but you can see the yellow page is done and the blue page is not done.

These small spaces surrounded by the color gave us a "good job" on coloring that will hopefully carry over to other coloring projects later on. 

He knows all his letter, colors, can write his name, and is ahead in all other areas,

except for completely coloring in a picture. 

Next up is Zeeky.

Zeeky is 7 years old.

He has FAS, drug exposure in utero, brain matter that didn't form properly,

Reactive Attachement Disorder, Autism, and who knows what other diagnoses could be thrown at him.

He is very bright, but he learns through musical means.

He hates to write or color in any capacity, but is getting better.

Most of my children with Autis, are slow to write and color - so I keep pushing but help them learn through means that they are more willing and able to learn through.

this picture won't turn either, but you can see that he attempted and did pretty well!

Jacob is last, but most certainly not least!

Jacob has Autism, Reactive Attachment Disorder, and Selective Mutism.

I've only heard about 2 or 3 words from him in the last 2 years or so,

but he doesn't generally talk to adults.

All of those words have been in the last 3 months, so we are making progress!

I'm so proud of this.

He stayed mostly in the lines!

He didn't color the stem of the apple, because he knew it shouldn't be red!

He completed them completely and perfectly.

He even traced the words pretty good.  :)

These are things that make a homeschooling, special needs Mommy very happy!!  Progress is great.  Effort and cooperation are even better!!  Three boys doing their work well on the same day, who I often have to push and prod to get work that isn't nearly as complete from, is a gift from God.  It is also proof that if you keep pushing and loving and never give in, then the results come.  :)

I am so blessed to get to be Mommy to  this crew and I can't wait to see the miracles that are yet to come with the kids here and the kids on the way, and maybe even kids we don't even know about yet. 

Please send up lots of prayers.  There is an important meeting that is the next step in our adoption that takes place at 8am my time.  You can read more about it HERE and I will update the adoption blog as soon as we know more.  <3

The Excitement of the Day!

Yesterday, I saw a that a friend from high school had a litter of Blue Heeler puppies.  I messaged her and reserved one, but didn't tell the kids.  (Yes, I'm sneaky mean like that!)

Today, I told the ones who were cooperative yesterday and finished their homeschool work to get ready and run and errand with me and the ones who didn't finish yesterday's assignments had a couple extra assignments to do today.  (Yes, I'm mean like that too!)  Zeeky, Jacob, and Cody all did WONDERFUL work yesterday (I'll post some of that later!), so they and Jose, Dayton, and Julianne  all loaded up in the minivan.  The ones here had work to do and Denzell had online school work, so they stayed nice and busy!

I didn't tell them what we were doing even though they asked a million times.  When the time finally came that we were almost there I asked them to help watch for the sign for the Pig Farm we were going to.  Then came the "We aren't going to watch pigs are we??".  (Yes, homeschool kids have to worry about such things.  haha)  When we got there and I had them sit in the van while I walked a few feet away, they saw the lady hand me a small gray animal and thought for sure I had just gotten a pig!! 

Imagine their excitement and surprise when it was a little tiny puppy!!  Thrilled children!  Well, Julianne was not initially thrilled, but she has warmed up to him quickly!  :)

Ok, videos and pictures!

Excuse Cody's excitement.  He talks very clear, but he was so excited

that it is just a SQUEAL as he talks!

Any wonder why he he needed this?

A Day Late But . . . .

Martin Luther King Day was something we enjoyed as a family.  It was good to remind our children of how much things have changed.  A family like ours wouldn't have been an "ok" thing in that day.  Our family has so many different skin colors that we really do live out his "dream" where a white child and black child walk hand in hand!  We have that happen all the time here.  :) 

We talked about the racism that we have seen as a family.  The three teenagers and Dayton remember moving from our first house and into a trailer on my family's farm to get away from the extreme racism that we faced.  They remember "Daddy not having a job" because they fired him when we adopted "black" children.  Thankfully, we can also remind them of how fighting for what is right is hard, but very worth it.  They remember "Mommy and Daddy going to court", when we fought them in federal court.  They also remember that it went well and the people who didn't want our family to "be" found out that there are consequences.  We remind the kids that while we can't change what people "feel" and "think", we can change what they think they can "do". 

Yes, our family got a good taste of racism.  We also got to buy a bigger home on the other side of the county in a multicultural area.  We got to adopt more children as a result.  Sometimes I'd like to send a certain someone (or group of someones) a family picture at Christmas.  We had 4 kids when they attacked our family and 6 kids when court was over.  (God blesses when you are following Him!)  Since then, we have adopted 7 more children and have 5 more children on the way.  God surely does continue to bless! 

Yes, Martin Luther King changed the world.  There is still a long way to go for "equality" for all.  There are a lot of people with deep prejudices that need to change their hearts (their minds would do no good).  We meet them in every day life and unless your family is "multi-colored" then you probably never notice.  Prejudice doesn't always mean that you take away a person's rights, but sometimes just that you never give them a chance to show who they are because you have such preconceived notions about "their kind".  Prejudice isn't something that most "white" people "see", but it is there.  If your skin happens to be "white" and you've never "seen" it then just adopt a child that is a different skin tone than your own.  Wow will your eyes be opened!  Thankfully, we quickly eliminate those type of people from our lives and make sure that if they are in a position to have any power, that they quickly realize that they better keep those prejudices inside their heads and out of our lives.

I'm going to write some more this week about prejudices that need addressed.  I also want to address some of the prejudices often overlooked.  I want to talk about the fact that our country is trying to get rid of an entire group of people.  I want to talk about how we Americans "judge" how other countries treat their people with disabilites, while we don't do any better in many ways. 

I'd actually love a dialogue.  So think about these topics a bit.  Have you ever experienced "racism"?  How?  What about discrimination in other ways? 

Cookies and Qwirkle

Tonight we had cookies and a new game to play.  Dayton, Jose, and Denzell made the cookies.  (Yes, all your daughters will be fighting for my young men some day because they will know how to cook, spoil children - Julianne's fault, set boundaries, and do stuff around the house!)  They took ready made sugar cookie dough and put little caramel baking bits into the center.  Dayton and Jose pressed their dough into shaped cookie pans and then put the caramel bits in and then a little more dough on top.  Denzell rolled his dough into balls and put the caramel bits into the center.  They all were yummy!

Qwirkle is a game that I had seen in catalogs before, but I'd never gone ahead and bought it.  It was on clearance at Walmart after Christmas.  (I love to go after Christmas and get stuff on sale that we can all play or for upcoming birthdays!)  We played it for the first time tonight.  Brent, Jose, Dayton, and I all sat in the floor and figured it out.  It is NOT EASY!  It was a lot of fun though! We didn't keep score the way it says to, because we were too busy just figuring it out.  Brent asked at the very beginning if we could just make up our own rules, because it was too hard.  lol  (He was not homeschooled! Our boys are homeschooled and they were up for the challenge.  haha)

Today we just played the game and the first one to use all the tiles up was the winner.  Jose won, Dayton came in second, I was in third, and Brent was last fourth place.  :)  Next time our goal is to figure out the scoring that it is talking about.  I think it is actually going to be a game that will be good for school time.  I love things that make them use their brains differently and I think it is very important that they learn to think outside the box!  This game is definitely OUTSIDE THE BOX!  I think my head is still hurting!  I am hoping that Destiny, Andrew, Crystal, and Forrest will enjoy learning to play it this coming week. 

I love these kinds of days with my kiddos!  We even had time to watch "Tangled" (I can't even watch that movie without thinking of a beautiful little girl named Mia Kareen that came home from Ukraine this year through Reece's Rainbow!).  I love that even my boys love that movie!  (Denzell was watching football in the other room though!)  We managed to watch that while the ham was baking in the oven.  A few flurries even flew around outside.  The fireplace was on. 

God is so good!  I can't wait until He bring my next 5 blessings home!!

Great Wolf Lodge Trip (Pictures)

Before Christmas we took all the kids to Great Wolf Lodge.  They had been asking to go to an indoor waterpark every since we went to a different one in 2008.  Several of the kids weren't here then and I really wanted to them to get to experience it.  We are also aware that once our 5 Bulgarian Blessings arrive home it will be a LONG time before we are able to attempt anything major like that.  We found a great deal during their "Homeschool Days" and told the kids it could be an early Christmas present.

I have to admit that I was a little worried.  Water is a scary thing when you have such a  large family.  Also we have 5 on the autism spectrum and for some reason those in particular seem to be drawn to water.  We had to get two suites in order for them to allow us to stay because of our family size.  That meant that we weren't even all together when we were in our rooms.  I planned, packed (oh what a job!), and made sure the kids realized the rules and precautions. 

The whole trip went WONDERFULLY!  I was so pleasantly surprised.  God really worked it all out.  The scariest part was probably Julianne and Cody using the steps in my suite as "physical therapy".  :)  (I have to say that they sure have conquered that goal and I can move on!) 

The water was a big hit.  They loved the wave pool that was so calm until the wolf howled!  There was a water roller coaster that I went on with Dayton and Jose that made me scream and I'm pretty sure did a sinus rinse on me.  It was a lot of fun, but it was wild!  The youngest 5 loved the smaller water slides too. 

One of the highlights for me and the younger kids was that the Lobby was all decorated for Christmas.  At night all the younger kids go down in their pajamas and listen to a story that comes alive with all the characters.  Then they sing a song about "snow" and fake snow starts to fall in the lobby.  After things calm down from that the mascot comes out and a bedtime story is read.  Our second night there was cool, because a reindeer came out to story time instead though.  It was so very much fun and so magical for the kids.

There were other great things to enjoy as well.  The pizza was so great on night one that we couldn't wait until night two so we could order it again.  The suites had nice sitting areas and we were able to watch movies that you could order (my room was the party room and I let them stay up and watch movies until about 1 am, but it was vacation!)  On our 2nd day there we decided to really make it special.  We took a break from the water park for lunch and let them all eat JUNK.  Oh yes, we are NUTS!  We went to the shop that had all the sweets and got cookies, chocolate dipped pretzels, fudge, smores, and hot cocoas!  They all sat and ate it in bathing suits in a place decorated for Christmas!  Julianne especially is a big fan of chocolate and Zeeky is also known as the "Cookie Monster" around here, so they were in heaven!  Later in the day, we went and did crafts in a special room there for craft time.  A few of the older boys went to the arcade instead. 

I have to say that it is now probably our favorite place we've gone (well besides that in Georgia we get to see awesome friends!).  We made great memories.  Everything we needed was under one roof.  There was great excitement for everyone!

Well We got our ICPC Approval

We got it on Wednesday!  :)  (I would've posted sooner, but there were blog issues yesterday)

That means that Cody is going to make it home very soon.  I expect that he will arrive home in June.  June will actually make a full year of working on his adoption.  That is very frustrating and our government should do so much better than that.  I am going to be positive though, so I can't talk about it.  lol

I did find out that Cody has a whole routine for opening the packages we send him each week.  First, he checks for his name.  (A boy has to make sure it is HIS package!)  Then he looks on the inside of the card for his name.  Then he looks inside to see what we sent him in the package.  I have to say that it is rare to find a child who is interested in the card first! 

I also found out that he is extremely interested in reading.  This excites me lots!  I love teaching children to reading and watching the excitement on their faces when they  "get it".  He recognizes the names of the other 9 children in his classroom now.  He is so interested that his teacher (at a special needs preschool!) is going to start teaching him some sight words.  I am loving his smart little self pushing them to all see his brains instead of his cerebral palsy!

I went shopping today to get some educational fun stuff to send my little guy.  I got him some flash cards.  I am also sending some educational sticker books.  The foster mother specifically requested some pages for him to trace.  I decided on a whole book.  :)  I can't wait till he sees on the fun educational things that await him when he gets home.  I'll send those things now, but when he gets home he'll hit the jack pot.  I homeschool and my favorite part of our new addition to our home is the huge closet that I get to organize my learning supplies in.  Even with that I've had to spill over into some other places for my supplies.  :) 

Ok, so here is my happy post.  The very happy post will come soon about him coming home.  I'm just sure of it! 

Destiny also turned 8 today.  I hope to blog about that tomorrow, if the children allow me to have time.  :)

PRAISE THE LORD FOR THE BLESSING OF THE ICPC APPROVAL AND CONTINUE TO PRAY FOR A QUICK USCIS PROCESS FOR OUR EASTERN EUROPEAN LOVES!

Julianne and Homeschooling

Julianne is hysterical.  Her little cute self keeps me constantly in awe that anyone could be that daggone cute!  She is 4 1/2 years old.  She weighs 28.8 lbs.  She has a personality that barely fits in any room.  She is smart as a tack, but doesn't speak a whole lot yet.  She has the cutest "extra chromosome"!  She communicates better nonverbally than anyone I've ever seen.  She never misses a moment of anything! 

Here are just a few examples of her cuteness:

The other night she climbed up in one of the "big" desks, instead of sitting in one of the little ones:

This morning she climbed up in a seat next to Denzell.  He was doing online high school (he's the only one doing an online school) and was in a "class connect" where a teacher was teaching live on the computer.  I'm sure Julianne learned a lot.  :)  After this picture was taken, she later climbed on his lap so that she could see better. 

I wish our other tiny ones were home to join in the homeschool fun.  It is horrible how much you can miss children that you have never even had with you.  It is also a God thing though.  I remember feeling the same way about the tiny princess you see before you.  God brought her home and He will them too!

Large Family/Time with the Kids

I have heard over the years many times about how people worry the kids won't get enough attention or "one on one attention".  I was thinking about it for a few days as we have all our time together.  It really did make me laugh.

I spend more time with my kids than most parents.  My kids homeschool so I am with them all day long every day!  I work with them one and one and I get to see the "light bulb" when they understand each new concept.  I know all about their personalities, thoughts, desires, and quirks.  I rarely miss a moment of their lives!

Many families have two working parents.  They have their kids for a few hours in the evenings, run to sporting events, and have weekend time. It works for them and many take extra care to raise well adjusted and loving children. 

I'm not here to debate stay at home vs working mothers.  I know some of both who do exceptional jobs! 

I just wonder if the people who ask "how?" I can do it take into consideration that I have my children for many more hours per day than many parents do??? 

My kids have me all day long every day.  They get plenty of attention and are doing exceptionally well. 

If you came across this and you are thinking about whether you should add to your family or feeling guilty that a new addition will take away from your current children, DON'T.  God gave mommies lots of love to go around and more family members just means more people to love each other.  My kids will tell you that they can't find a negative to it.  They love each other dearly and can't wait to have more brothers and sisters to share family life with.  :)

Dayton is Working SO FAST

Well, Dayton started 5TH GRADE Math today.  His class from public school is in 3rd grade.  He just flies through it.  He never gets hung up and tries to give up.  He never plays mind games with me (nice to have a few that really try!).  He just never stops!

Forrest was very upset the other day when he realized that Dayton was so close to moving into the 5th grade math book.  He acted like a complete baby about it.  Instead of realizing that he needs to get his act together and get his work done, he whined like a two year old. 

Today he seemed to have gotten the picture.  When Dayton started in the new book today, Forrest seemed to be moving.  I guess we will see how long it lasts!  Forrest is so capable, but stops to play mind games along the way.  He has even said that he thinks if he convinces me that he "can't" then I will quit making him learn so much.  (Where has he been living!??) 

It is so sad to see Dayton growing up so quickly.  His little chubby cheeks are gone.  He is turning into a young man instead of a little boy.  :( 

He is always thinking though.  He said that the thinks God gave him a brain that can move this fast because God has big things for him to do.  He says that if he finishes this stuff early then he can get started with whatever God has for him as an adult sooner. 

I am so glad that he really wants to serve God.  I am glad that he is thinking ahead.  I just wish he'd stay little for me a little longer.  I guess he plans to keep moving though.  I have decided to just be proud and try not to think of how fast he is growing up. 

I wonder what God does have in store for him? . . . .

Not Blogged for a Little While

I haven't been on here for a little while. Things have been incredibly busy here. Construction is still dragging on. We did bring boxes of furniture in tonight. We will be putting some together this weekend and the inside is supposed to be finished (and them out of my house lol) by Wednesday. They are doing a great job and are very nice, but we need our "normal" (haha that is funny don't you think) life back.

My last posts were about 3 of the children accepting Jesus as their Savior. Crystal and Destiny are doing great. Andrew is NOT. He did well for a few days, but the devil is fighting him hard. He is back to using his pants part of the time (remember he will be 10 in February and has nothing wrong except the RAD). He is not doing his school work well and always refuses to finish it all. I know that he is learning, but he just won't perform it.

Jose and Forrest have joined ranks with Andrew for the moment. They too are refusing to finish all of their work for any day CORRECTLY. Jose has even tried to tell me that I didn't teach him that 24,000 was bigger than 1,000, so that is why he can't add. roflol GIVE ME A BREAK! Forrest and Jose will tell me that they are "playing games", but yet they still act surprised by their lack of priveleges. HMMM . . . . .

I am sick. A few of the kids have a cold of sorts as well. Brent just got over it. (Dayton says we got it from Daddy and we should "banish" him, which I am inclined to agree with currently. haha) Dayton and I are having to deal with affecting our asthma. I am dealing with it affecting my sinuses as well. Praying God heals it all so we can enjoy the coming week with lots of snow to fly around out there. :)

I hope all is going well where you are. I will try to manage a post tomorrow about Reece's Rainbow. I am praying that God allows us to be a part of that adventure for huge blessings as soon as Cody makes it home. :) Right now it is already tomorrow and I need to head for bed!

I Want People to Think I am Dumb!

Yes, this is what I am dealing with at the moment. Forrest, Crystal, Andrew, and Jose have been playing dumb pretty badly for a good portion of our construction for the addition. This is what they use to pull on homework when they went to public school. They did it at school too, but it isn't as obvious when you're in a classroom full of kids and mom isn't looking. I knew they were doing it at times and that they didn't care to get a bad grade, but at the moment it is really obnoxious. (Please don't tell them that I am even a little annoyed, because I am faking it really good right now.)

They have personalities that were shaped by foster care. They do as little as they can get by with of anything that requires effort. They also do as much as they can get by with of whatever they shouldn't do. It really isn't a good combination unless they are hoping to live in cardboard boxes down by the river as their life time goal! I've dealt with it before. Denzell is a good example of it. I fought hard to get him past it for many years and now he is doing much better. He is 15 and does have goals. He works hard at a lot of things. That gives me hope for the others!

Today I told the four of them that I would like for them to write a page in their journals about what is going on. I told them that it needed to include why they are pretending to be dumb. They admit that it is a game some of the time. Its the "why" that is hard to get them to talk about. I have found over the years that if they have to "write" about it then you are more likely to find out the "why".

Jose did the best job of writing about it really. The other three wrote about the same "whys" really, but not as articulate and well. The truth is that they want people to think they are "dumb". They say that their goal is for people to "feel bad" for them. Jose even went as far as to say that he was hoping that if he faked being dumb long enough then I would put him back a grade level so the work would be easier. They all acknowledged in their writing that they knew what they were doing was wrong and that they "should have known" that they wouldn't get by with it.

After writing about it, they all made some progress. They had a lot of papers to correct! Andrew was the funniest about it. I was talking to my grandmother on the phone while I graded his work. I checked the first page and he only missed three out of around 40 problems. As I was nearing the end he says "I know I shouldn't play dumb mom and I'm sorry". I knew at that very moment that I was headed for the next round of "dumb". I could hear in his voice that he was hoping I'd say 'oh Andrew its ok, just try your best from now on'. He was hoping that then I would see the next page and be disappointed that he had lied again. I instead said "Well Andrew, we will talk about that after I grade your math".

I was correct unfortunately. The next page of math was very much the same and within the first two lines he was already missing more than half of them. I handed it back to him and he looked very disappointed that I wasn't surprised.

I've never really wanted anyone to think I was dumb. I can't imagine being lazy enough to want people to think I was dumb just so I wouldn't have to do the work. I also think that "dumb" is somehow safe to them. There aren't expectations so much. There aren't rewards for doing well. There aren't priveleges extra because you completed it and can take a small break before the next activity if you want.

We've got a ways to go, but we will all make it. I remember when Denzell was about Forrest's age, I had to tell him that I'd get a box for him to try out during the next rain. The look on his face is one that I will always remember. lol It was amazing how quick he got some stuff done. haha

Good Stuff on the RAD Front

Please don't tell them. It is a huge secret! lol Crystal and Andrew are doing REALLY WELL. They took advantage of the clemency and are doing great. Andrew was the 2nd one done with his school work today. He is ROUNDING, which he had previously declared he couldn't do. Crystal is the only one of the five 3rd-5th graders who hasn't memorized for first 20 presidents. She has memorized 10 though and is very close to getting all 20!

Andrew is doing the best right now. He has been here the longest of the 3 RADishes. He has been living with us full time for 4 years and 7 months. He was 5 years old when he moved in. I am seeing huge improvements with him. At this moment he is playing just like everyone else! He is being helpful. He is polite. He and Dayton are playing almost like they did when they were little and he wasn't with us full time yet. (See he didn't have RAD behaviors until he had been with us a little while full time and we had done respite for him for 18 months before he moved in full time. Back then they were best of friends. After he realized that he was here to stay, he went from a very active child, to a full blown RADish. He began the behaviors, like screaming incessantly and tearing things up, that his foster mother had to deal with during the time before that.) It is so good to see them reconnecting. It is so good to see him being the smart and sweet little boy that I've known was in there this whole time.

Crystal is doing good. She still has a "look" in her eye that I know means we've still got a ways to go. She suffered so many moves that I know it is harder for her to trust. I see her looking for a chance to "snag" a pair of underwear before I get them locked in the closet. I know that she is wanting to resort back to peeing on her underwear and hiding them. I am being very diligent. She wants to sneak and do it, but she isn't. Otherwise she is doing ok. She is back and forth between "chatter" and "silence" with me. She is playing well with the other kids. She isn't doing anything particularly bad. I will take that! She has only been here for almost 3 years. She was 8 when she came. We still have a while to go!

God is so good!

Clemency Granted

I have been so excited about our little guy coming and so frustrated that our children with RAD just can't seem to dig out of their holes. On top of that Forrest and Jose had gotten into a rut as well. It seemed that might never dig out. I decided several days ago that Friday would be the day to grant "clemency" to them. I knew that if I did it before Friday, then there would be no chance of them making it to the weekend and still having priveleges. I really wanted them to get another good taste of what life SHOULD be like.

While we were homeschooling today I let them know. I said "I have decided to grant clemency to everyone, but I need to know if you want it." I knew that they wouldn't be sure what it meant. I also knew that we've been working on better dictionary skills and using it when needed. (Homeschooling moms are always teaching!) Dayton and Jose said "Well, we don't know if we want it because we don't know what it means. What if it means that you are going to kill us or something?". I have to admit that made me laugh. It also made me feel accomplished, because we've also discussed making sure that you don't just "follow" others without knowing that they are doing what is right. lol

Andrew spoke up at that point. He said, "I think it probably means MERCY and I want it!". See I always tell people that he is a smart kid. I know that if he'd use half of the energy to do the right thing that he does to try so hard to do wrong, then he could accomplish tons!

Dayton spoke up next, "Well I am getting the dictionary!". He went to get it and looked the word up quickly. He then declared, "Andrew you were right!". They got a little noisy at that point. I quickly realized that the ones who get into the most trouble were planning what else they might be able to get away with now. I had to quickly remind that "clemency" would get rid of the writing assignments and give them normal priveleges, but that any further behaviors would land them with more consequences.

They quickly started to chat about "how this could happen". I never give an inch. I quickly learned that they were very smart. They declared that this had to do to my happiness over "child #13". I told them that I had decided that since I got that blessing, that I would give them a chance to receive one as well. Dayton told them, "Smell . . . . your taste of freedom!". He was even excited for them! I got hugs and listened to lots of happy chatter.

I don't know how long it will take for them to get into more trouble. History would make you believe that it won't be long. I want to believe that maybe they will take the opportunity to learn something. I want them to know that I do love them and want them to have a happy life. I don't want them to think that I will do this again any time soon, but I don't think they would dare bank on that. I do want them to know that I would do anything that I can to help them. They started to try and take advantage a few times this evening, but quickly backed down. We will see what tomorrow holds!

The RAD kids do know that they still have very strong limits. They still can't receive attention from other adults. They still can't be roaming the house unattended. They still have other rules that aren't rules for others at our house. They also know that those rules are not punishments, but rules in place to help them get better and not sabotage themselves.

What will they do with this clemency!?!

Studious Brothers (and their little follower)

When I got home yesterday evening, Denzell, Dayton, and Julianne were still up. Brent knew that those three had been good and that they were having fun. (Destiny was also having an exceptional day, but she had to go to public school this morning which doesn't have a flexible start time. lol) Several of our kids are eye deep in behaviors right now due to having construction workers out back. They know I won't send them out to the side of the yard that I can't see to have them go back and forth between the two fences, so they are pulling out all of the not-so-good-stops! I am just being patient because I know it will end soon. I am however big into giving extra rewards for those who choose not to go off the straight and narrow. (Movies, candy bars, staying up late, extra video game time, and all kinds of other treats have been heavily used as positive reinforcement for the ones behaving. )

When I went in to see what the kids were up to, I found Dayton and Denzell reading dictionaries. They were laughing hysterically at some of the words that they'd never heard or noticed. They each had a dictionary and were telling each other about their "finds". I have to admit that it is a very educational way to get enjoyment, which always makes me happy. Since they are boys, words like "kiss" got a lot of extra laughs as well. ;)

Within just a couple minutes, Julianne was over and taking over! She wanted a dictionary too! So Denzell, being the awesome big brother that he is, gave her the dictionary that he had and went to grab another from the school book stack. (Which by the way is overtaking my formal living room because the addition isn't done yet.) So he rejoined the group and all three sat with their dictionaries. Julianne of course isn't reading yet. That didn't stop her at all though! She flipped through it just the same. She would look at it all serious like and then giggle. I mean, that is what you do when you look at a dictionary! She is sure of it, because she is going to do just what her brothers do!

I got some good pictures, but I haven't figured out how to put any on this blog. Maybe some day in my "free time" (eyes rolling), I will figure it out. Until then just get the mental image of Denzell (age 15), Dayton (will be 9 later this month), and Julianne (a tiny 28 pound, 4 year old) all sitting and looking at dictionaries, while giggling. It was too cute!

My Kids and Construction

As you all can imagine, the construction adds a whole other layer of "stuff" going on around here. I want them all to be able to see what is going on with the construction, because it isn't something that you get to experience often in your life. We have two windows and a big sliding glass door that are right against the construction site, so they really are enjoying watching.

There has been a lot to see so far. The've watched jackhammers tear up the concrete and then trucks lift the concrete out and discard it. They've seen a big truck drill long piers 21 feet into the ground. They've got to see the foundation dug out and then poured. The most recent has been the laying of the blocks.

What is hysterical is the things that get them all worked up. As interesting as things have been to watch it is the small things that draw the most excitement. The man "spitting in their yard" that caused them disbelief. The man who was "smoking a cigarette" that shocked them.

Then most recently the people who came to lay the block caused us all some grief. The men seemed nice enough I guess, especially since we stayed inside. The problem is that from the time they arrived they began to play their stereo out back of our house. They arrived bright and early on Thursday morning. I immediately heard it and thought "Oh crap. How will we survive!". I knew that a normal school day was not in our near future. I quickly improvised. We would use pattern blocks and cards in the family room. We would work on some other "brain teaser" activities. They could work on their book report books wherever they could find the most quiet. We would learn about Jupiter like we had been planning to, but they would write 5 things they "thought" were true and then look them up to find out. They would copy down some real facts and then write about Jupiter.

I let the kids sleep a little later in hopes of missing some of the noisy time. As soon as they got up, they started to mention the noise. Dayton was first to say "How will we concentrate for school?". (Of course, because he is my studious child who loves to learn!) Then soon I was hearing grumblings all through the house. I must admit that it was driving me nuts too! I am not good with background sound and love the quietness of my outside surroundings, while listening to the bustle, chatter, and giggles of my kids. I couldn't help but chuckle at the fact that the jackhammers and trucks didn't bother us. It was the music and commercial of the radio that drove us insane! Soon Jose was saying "Gosh, can't he pull up his pants, put a shirt on, and break that stupid radio!".

By afternoon, I prepared myself for the fact that I would have to say something. I went outside and waited for them to look my direction, since I couldn't bear to yell over the music. I did what any good mom would do and explained that while I hated to ask it was becoming necessary for me to do so and if they could turn it down some we would really appreciate it a lot. I even explained that with 5 out of my 12 children having autism, I feared that one might go nuts soon. Now, I did not however explain that I was going crazier than them all and that the only verbal complaints were from my "typical" kids. I just know that my children with autism must have felt nuts if the rest of us were headed there. :) They did turn it down some. We did live through today. The kids were uninterested in watching any of the rest of it and I truly think it is because the one man didn't have on a shirt and his pants hung down a little low.

I really do love this crew. We are all a little different than most people I guess. I have sat and thought about why that specific sound is the sound that we have been unable to bear. Here is my conclusion! I think that the other sounds (jackhammer, trucks, etc) have all been sounds of progress. We as a family love to see progress. We can handle autistic style fits, RAD ramblings, and music that is for learning. This particular sound wasn't progress. It was monotonous and useless. It didn't give praise to God. It didn't teach anyone anything. It didn't accomplish anything at all. We are people who love to do anything that "helps", but music about cheating, beating, and drinking just doesn't accomplish anything. We had lots we wanted to learn and it was distracting.

I wonder if the nail guns and other building sounds that should be starting soon will bug us? I think we'll be fine as long as they don't play music loudly while they work. I'm just glad that God does give us lots of good noise in this house. There is lots of talking, giggling, pretending, babbling, and singing about good stuff!

My Child with Autism is a Smartie Pants!!

I am a very proud mommy tonight. Zeeky is going to be 6 on Monday. He will have been home 3 years in November. He has come so very far that I can't help myself as I watch in astonishment. We still have some hurdles to cross (potty training is the main one and boys with autism are notoriously hard to train). I am just so excited at what I've seen God do and what He's let me be a part of doing.

Zeeky is able to tell you the phonetical sound of every letter! This is a huge thing here and I have had him do it so that several loved ones could hear it by phone late this evening. I've always known that he was a smart kid, despite the fact that he was diagnosed as 'severely mentally retarded' and 'nonverbal autism' when he came to us at age 3.

I knew that there was a lot in there and that we had to find a way to get it out. Autism is funny like that. Their little brains have lots of information in there that is unable to show through to the rest of the world. They are often mislabeled as 'mentally retarded' because of lack of speech and inability to interact with the world around them. I have always known it. I could just see it in there. I've always felt like God chose me to be the parents of 5 children on the autism spectrum because He knew that He made me very stubborn too. I just can't accept that there isn't more that we can do.

What I've found is that there is always a way to get it out. There isn't a formula. I don't even care what caused it. I don't care what any doctor or scientist says. I just KNOW that they can accomplish a lot. (I actually think this is true of a lot of people with special needs that are overlooked or outcast because of preconceived notions of people who know nothing.)

Each child is different and learns different. The same goes for children with autism. You just have to find out what 'makes them tick' and go with it. For Zeeky the answer is MUSIC and ELECTRONIC SOURCES. He learns things best from DVDs, musical toys, and electronic toys. There are some specific ones that I have found to be best. I will try to write about them specifically another day, but today is just to celebrate his accomplishment. I have bought every learning DVD and learning toy known to mankind. I have watched his interaction with each. I have watched for signs that he was getting the information into his brain and then worked on ways for him to demonstrate that knowledge to me.

Today was another huge "tear jerking moment". Zeeky can name the phonetical sound to every single letter. Some letters he even volunteers a word that starts with that letter just to make sure you know how much he knows! He is proud of himself and I am very proud of him. I am so thankful that God has allowed me to be his Mom!

Yuck

Lots of things are going quite well right now. Construction is moving along. I think our footer will be poured on Monday, which is so exciting. My kids are awesome (well honestly Crystal and Andrew aren't doing great, but I don't stress it because they will come back around soon). I love homeschooling. I had an IEP meeting with Destiny's school professionals today and was reminded as to why I still have her there and how much I love their greatness.

I am feeling rough though. The ladies on my side of the family have a history of very fast heart rates. My great grandmother, grandmother, and mother have all required medication to bring it down. I have always had excellent blood pressure and just a high/average heart rate. I got a little cold or something that seemed to be going around. Shortly after I seemed to be having some difficulty with getting winded. I thought it was just some asthma flare up, so I didn't worry about it too much.

It turns out that the "genes" have smacked me. I am going back to the doctor in the morning to see about getting it further regulated. I started one medicine already, but I'm not staying down out of the 100 beats per minutes and above category. YUCK! I know they'll get it regulated soon though. In the meantime, I have awesome kids (not the RAD ones, bc you NEVER let them know you are at all under the weather or they might see it as the weakness they are so badly looking for) that are pitching in and making my life as easy as possible.

I have used this as a reason to do a little "check up" on my health habits though. I am eating a lot more salads and fruits. I am getting to bed at much better times. I am even sitting down during the day instead of going without stopping. lol I guess God figures we all need a little reminder now and then!