My Letter to ICPC (that they will probably never read)

I wrote this letter last night to the lady who is torturing me from ICPC.  I sent it to my worker and asked her to forward it.  I knew that she would read it and tell me the truth about what she thought.  She emailed me back and said she'll send it on Monday if I would like, but that she doesn't think it will help.  As of right now, they are asking for things they are allowed to ask for.  It angers me incredibly that they are asking for these things ONE AT A TIME, instead of asking for them all at once in the beginning and making the process faster to bring home my son.  I have to share the letter somewhere in order to get what I really think off of my chest so here it is.

I am writing this email as a plea for my little boy. Cody has spent his whole life in foster care and now is missing another holiday that should be spent with a family that adores him. I met Cody over two years ago. He was in the same foster home as my daughter Julianne. I fell in love with him while we were there. His red hair, blue eyes, and sweet personality made him irresistable! He wanted our attention so badly and was so close to our daughter as well. You can only imagine how hard it was to pull away with our daughter, who I had waited so long to hold, while he cried at the door. The complete joy of having her and heading home to our children was subdued by the tears in my eyes as I watched them pull him from the door crying. I knew that he still didn't have a family and that I just took the little girl who in his heart was his sister.



I understand that you have a job to do. I understand and also desire that homes are made sure to be acceptable before children are placed. I wish that the foster homes that most of my children came from were to have had half of this type of scrutiny applied to them! Children deserve the best and most of my children came from foster homes that I wouldn't leave my pets in. I am blessed that Cody is in one of the better foster homes that we've been to, but it still isn't a forever family.


I am begging you to just tell us what other hoops you want us to jump through. I've been doing adoptions for many years and I am very use to jumping through hoops. Thankfully, we have been blessed to work with Mended Reeds that is willing to jump through all these hoops for us as well. I must admit though that the hoops you are asking for seem extreme. I've spent the day begging and crying to try and get letters from everyone you wanted them from. I've had nurses tell me that a cerntain doctor won't do letters while I begged. I have then had to find alternative ways to try and do what is asked. See, I am a good circus dog and I am use to jumping through hoops to get my babies home. I find it much more difficult to be told to make others jump through hoops for me. Specialists do not like to be circus dogs. I do believe I have found ways to prove the things you have asked for after many tears.


I want you to imagine for a second that you were in a similar position. I'm not sure if you are a mother or not, but just imagine yourself as a mother. Imagine that your child is being held hostage. You are told that you can finally get your child into your arms. You are given the "ransom" demand and you run, scurry, and hurry to try and meet it quickly. Then imagine that each time you do this, the "ransom" is set higher and more difficult to pay. Imagine how helpless and emotionally exhausting that would be. Time after time I have paid the ransom for my children. I have gone above and beyond what I have been asked to do, because that is what Mommies do for their children.


My children have all come home and excelled beyond what they were ever believed to be able to do. I have proved myself over and over. I'm not a first time parent. I am a mother who has been blessed with many children. Birthparents are allowed to give birth to as many as they want (even if they don't take care of them!) and never are questioned with the scrutiny that we subject ourselves to time and time again as parents via adoption. We should be able to give homes to children who already exist, but are being denied the basic right to have families who love and adore them.


Please understand that Cody is a real person. (I attached a picture that his foster mother sent since we have been in regular contact with her and kept her updated on Julianne since she came home.) A real child, just like one you might give birth to yourself. He was handed a rough blow before he was ever born. He as shown miraculous improvements and genuine determination to over come many of those difficulties. He is a child first and foremost that deserves a family. He deserves to be adored by my husband and I and the 12 brothers and sisters who long for him each day. He deserves to go to bed at night in a room prepared for him and shared with a big brother who can't stand to sleep in there any more because it reminds him that the bed is empty and Cody is still not here. He needs his forever Mommy to tuck him in and tell him how loved he is and a Daddy that will teach him to hit the ball with the baseball bat. He deserves a real home and a real family life. Foster care is a horrible place for a child. It is aweful that so many have to stay there, but Cody has an alternative. Cody has parents who have longed to have him with them for over two years already. Cody is adored by a family who has proven over and over that they have the ability, determination, and love that it takes to raise children in a long term and permanent family.


My husband and I have proved time and time again that our children are our first priority. Cody is already ours in our hearts and he is a priority. We have proven that we will fight for what is right for them and that we love them beyond compare. God has blessed us with the ability to have a large family. I would take that right to the Supreme Court before I would ever back down from a child in need of a family that God lays on my heart. I can keep jumping through hoops, but it is just wasting Cody's time. Each day is another day missed with his forever family. Each day is more memories that he doesn't get to have.


Please, I beg of you to just let us have our son. He needs us and we need him home with us.


It will probably be the middle of next week, because of the holiday, before I can gather all of the letters that you have asked for. Please be ready with everything else to approve this case and let us bring our son home.


Sincerely,

They are Holding my Little Boy Hostage

This is Cody.  I can't show his face right now, but I got this picture and was excited to be able to share.  That is a book that we sent him and he fell asleep with it, so since his face is covered, I can share.  :)

I beg your prayers for his adoption to move quickly.  Ohio's ICPC is driving me insane.  They keep saying we have to provide something else or that our agency has to provide something else.  We've heard that they are being told to deny every adoption that they can from out of state.  Evidently some children have come from out of state and their adoptions have disrupted.  That puts them back into care, but this time the state of Ohio is footing the bill.  You'd think that, since our first adoption was over 9 1/2 years ago and all ours are home, that we'd have proved ourselves by now.  I have 18 and 19 year old daughters that still live at home, when many bio parents would have put them into the MRDD system to be housed.  It also isn't like Cody is some delinquent child.  He's a cute little 4 year old who has overcome so much in his short life and NEEDS a family. 

Please pray that they will move this thing forward rather than delaying with endless attempts to find some reason to deny him a family!  It is like they are holding him hostage and every time I think I paid the ransom they just change it to another ransom demand.  It is exhausting and my heart breaks each day for this little boy who deserves a family to love and adore him forever.  Please take this before God for us.  The devil must really be angry at what God has planned for my little boy, because otherwise he'd not be fighting it so hard.

I know this picture is a little blurry.  I just thought I'd share that THIS is how I FEEL RIGHT NOW!  The day I took this picture I was trying to take some pictures to send to Cody.  She let me know very clearly that she was DONE with getting her picture taken.  I can't help but think she is adorable even showing a mad face.  lol

I very much feel like the face she is making and the idea she is trying to get across.  I am DONE with the waiting.  I am tired of waiting for ICPC to move on Cody's adoption.  I am tired of waiting for Central Registry checks on my oldest daughters.  I am ready to have all my kids home.

The thing that is DIFFERENT is that no one cares if I am TIRED and DONE.  Julianne is cute and we love her so much that we CARE.  The government offices that do all of the things (or don't do them) that I need done for my adoptions don't care that there are real children waiting and mommies worrying. 

SO I STILL WAIT!

I think I'll go back and re-read my post about the cost of adoption now.  I think God means for me to "get it" and I'm instead feeling ticked off.  Maybe He is ok with me being ticked off because He too is tired of the people in charge wasting the lives of children?  I am going to have to pray about that. 

Cody News - Good and Sad

I got an email from Cody's foster mother. 

First of all he had his annual MRI.  His shunt is still doing great!  He will need to follow up with a pediatric neurosurgeon in a year for another MRI and an appointment to get the results.  That is great news!

Cody is continuing to ask every day at each meal, if he can go eat in "Hio" with Dayton.  That makes me feel so many mixed emotions.  First of all I am just so SAD.  I mean, my little boy wants to come home and can't.  The world is an unfair place and children are not valued as they should be.  Our foster care system is so broken that it has taken forever to get him home.  I am also GLAD that he wants to come home.  I know that means that God is preparing his tiny little heart for coming home to his forever family.  I know that it is amazing that he is wanting to leave the only home he remembers ever living in.  I know it means that he is comprehending that the gifts, pictures, and phone calls are coming from REAL people.  He is ready to go see those real people and is longing to do things with the brother that he will share a room with. 

I need to hold him so badly!  I thank God for preparing his heart.  I am thankful that I got some more news on him from the foster mother.  I am heartbroken that this process still has so long left before he will come home and I pray that he hasn't given up on the whole idea by that point. 

Pray hard that he comes home soon to eat in "Hio" with Dayton and all the rest of us!

Snack Mix

I get a lot of questions about how I feed them all, so I thought I'd do a series of posts about the ways I make food work.  :)

One of my kids' favorite things in our "Snack Mix".  I started making snack mix as a way to give them good snacks with stuff they like, but keeping it as healthy and low fat as possible.  I also HATE TO WASTE anything.  On top of that our snacks need to be low sodium because my oldest three had high blood pressure until I adjusted their diet (mainly cut out school lunches). 

Here's what I do! 

I go through our "cereal cabinet" and get different cereals that have been mostly finished.  I put them all into a huge container.  I add some type of small marshmallows (the kids especially like it if they are seasonal - snowmen, spring time, heart shaped).  I then add some chocolate chips, M&Ms, Reeses Pieces.  If we have a partially eaten package of pretzels or gold fish crackers then they get added. 

Just a quick and careful (non crunching) mixing with my hand and we have a snack that will last for quite a while.  If another bag of cereal gets almost empty then I just add it whenever it gets that way.  Right now I did a special one for Spring and added a package of jelly beans to the mix. 

It has just enough "sweet" and "junk" to it that the kids ask for it, but plenty of cereal, crackers, pretzels, etc that it is a good snack as well. 

I love it because it eliminates waste, saves money, and is something they all love!

She Did It!

Yes, Julianne did just pee in the potty!  While Dayton and I were carrying on about her peeing in the potty, she smiled and said "Potty".  :)  Have I ever mentioned how much I adore my little girl??  Well, in case you don't know, I adore her more than you could possibly imagine.  She makes every day wonderful.  She is so sweet and cute that I didn't even mind cleaning up pee 3 times yesterday.  lol 

Ok, well there is my "happy Mommy" post!  :)

Potty Training Julianne?

Well, yesterday I put Julianne in big girl panties for the first time.  She is 4 1/2 years old and it is time to give it a try.  She's peed and pooped in the potty many times before.  We've never gone full fledged at potty training though. 

I can say that she only peed in the floor 3 times.  The problem with that is, that is the ONLY times she peed!  Yes, every single time that she peed it was in the floor.  She did go sit on the potty once with her panty's still on, but even after I pulled them down for her, nothing came of it.  I think she may have thought - ok well its been more than 15 minutes and mommy hasn't sat me here yet so I guess I should probably sit down on my own.  haha

We are back at it this morning.  No successes yet.  I'm not giving up!  I think she can do this.  She knows what the potty is for.  I think she just needs to understand that it isn't just for before bath time.  Oh well, we'll see how this goes!